Satirical News: China Sends New Agent Codenamed "Chun Li" to Beat Up Nobita's Sister Krisis Before She Can Run for President!


Well it was confirmed that new Chinese agent known as Chun Li (not to be confused with the fictional Street Fighter character) actually was one of the people involved in Spratlys.  After Damulag had beaten up President Nobita, VP Jejemon Beanay, Unggoy Ejercito, Juan Ponce Enriche, Tito Stupid, Bongbong Bastos, Ramon Reviler Jr. and Toady Casino, it was time to beat up Krisis Aquino and her supporters both men and women alike.  Chun Li is only 26 years old but she can kick ass really hard and it was proven when Krisis' bodyguards were beaten up in less than a second.

What was last known was that Krisis was last seen with her praning attitude, getting mad and trying to promote more protectionism for the Philippines.  Worse, Krisis is running for president despite having ZERO experience in politics.  But for Pinoys it does not matter anyway- after all popularity wins.  Knowing how much trouble Nobita caused China by asking for pardon of the culprits who caused the March 30 incident in Shenzhen and Guangzhou to avenge Elizabeth Bitayin, Ramon Non-Credo and Sally Violationa. China knows that Pinoys vote out of popularity and not out of real wisdom, sent Chun Li to beat up Krisis.  Krisis was beaten up severely and later, she passed by Loko Atienza and beat him up too for planning to fan foreign TV drama, something Damulag failed to do.  Loko Atienza was sent to St. Luke's the national getaway hospital for politicans with Krisis Aquino.

Krisis was last seen in the intensive care unit not because she was in critical condition but because she was already acting like it was the end of her.  Chun Li only broke Krisis' legs and it showed just how praning Krisis can be.  At the hospital, supporters of Krisis were soon beaten up by Chun Li causing more stupid Pinoys to be severely injured.  However Anak ng Bobo and Bobo Muna members were bragging how Pinoys stand up for their fellow Pinoys, unlike Chinese beating fellow Chinese.

Meanwhile, Chun Li is said that she must meet with Damulag's forces as they plan to invade Lawless Tondo to get rid of Blob Blabbersky's turf before the Philippine government might send them to China to cause any more trouble.  China though more fully armed than the Philippines wants to teach the Philippines a lesson they will never forget.  Chun Li was last seen in Chinatown assembling Chinese forces gearing up with new quality rifles that may soon put the Pinoy National Army to shame.

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The Philippines is FULL of Yellow Journalism!