Showing posts from May, 2014

Satirical News: Ampao Declared as National Food of the Philippines!

After President Nobita's penitensya where ampao was served, one might consider the whole start of ampao celebration day.  The House of Representatives has passed a law called ampao as the national food of the Philippines.  Ampao is a delicacy made from puffed rice with a sweet taste, a crunchy texture which is of Chinese influence.  It is also a famous Filipino delicacy and Cebu is the island that makes ampao.  Before President Nobita's penitensya, lots of ampao from Carcar were brought to Manila making ampao makers rich.

President Nobita then signed the ampao as national food law.  On an interview, President Nobita said, "There is no reason for us to disregard ampao as the national dish.  After all, we are proud of the ampao mentality.  Ampao after all has significance of the Chinese heritage of Filipino-Chinese and they are still part of the Filipino people."

However former Congressman Toady Casino was angered.  After all, he did submit his Pinoy Pride Project and…

Pinoy Pridists and Their Possible View of Fun and Happiness

Happiness is important isn't it?  But a wrong view of happiness can be very devastating especially the Pinoy view of fun and happiness.  After reading a similar article at Get Real Philippines, I was thinking it's time I write on my own based on some experiences.  What the Pinoy mentality of happiness could be is being at a permanent state of bliss, an idle state, etc.  Not that I have something against loving one's work and taking work as a delight, the Pinoy has a perverted view of happiness.  I would love to blame the 300 years of Spanish rule to why this has happened.  The Spanish introduced fiestas into the Filipino culture, which in turn allowed them to rule 400 years unchallenged.  The once diligent natives were transformed into a society of lazy people!

So what's the Pinoy definition of happiness?  Is it being happy go lucky?  It COULD be considering some experiences I had with Pinoys.  I remembered how some people choose their leisure over their duty.  Some p…

Revenge in Writing

Vengeance plots do add some plot in stories.  For some reason, I do have an obsession with revenge in stories.  Now for some ways vengeance is written...
Heroes can be blinded with revenge.  For example, Conan himself was blinded by ideals of revenge when in the 1982 he seeks out the movie version of Thulsa Doom and in 2011, he seeks out Khalar Zym.  Reasons for revenge usually sound noble like avenging the death of a best friend, a parent, a comrade, etc. until they realize if they carry out their plans of revenge, it makes them the same level as the villain and they are harming those they care about.  They say, "I won't take revenge, I won't stoop down to your level." type of talk.  

Satirical News: Toady Casino Declares War on One Direction!

After President Nobita formed his own band called "No Direction", Toady Casino shows just how butthurt he can be when he declared war on foreign music.  Normally the long lines to buy tickets for OPM which means Obnoxious Pinoy Music artists are not that long compared to the SM Mall of Asia line.  People slept there on the evening, had a camping just to get the VIP ticket.  No such phenomenon happened in the Philippines for any Pinoy artist.  The sore loser clown Toady Casino gets mad especially when his children wanted to see One Direction.  But he told them they were evil because they were foreign and took them out to watch a Badjao concert instead!

"This is utterly embarrassing!  We Pinoys are the best in everything- music, science, etc. and the world is biased and jealous!  How dare One Direction steal all the attention from our OPM!  This is already going too far!  I don't know why our Filipinos cannot be patriotic by choosing their own products instead of impo…

A Lesson from the Mall of Asia Line: Learning to Settle For Less When Need Be!

After some people were crying over the VIP tickets of One Direction, one must realize that one could learn to settle for less sometimes.  I mean, let's face not everybody is a VIP.  I am definitely not one and I don't whine or bitch about it.  And for one, I watch some concerts myself and seldom, go to Hong Kong for it when I have time BUT sometimes you have to settle for less when you can't have more.  I mean, if I were to watch the One Direction concert and if I were a fan, I would settle for a lower cost ticket... I mean I can still enjoy the show right?  Besides for that PHP 18,000.00 I can actually buy myself more stuff.  I mean, if I had PHP 10,000 or more pocket money I would probably go to Chinatown, shop, buy more stuff and maybe go for some food trips before the concert.  Just practical financing, in fact I'm no financial guru either.

In life we can't always be on top and not everybody can be on top.  I mean, for one not everybody is influential.  I'm…

Why the Lavish Party Life Mentality Won't Help the Philippines!

There is nothing wrong with parties.  I go to parties every once in a while like bank appreciation parties, anniversaries, weddings- nothing wrong with that!  But what is wrong with typical Pinoys today is that they think lavish party life is a must. I don't know if this is true but my former history teacher told me that the Spanish introduced the fiesta life to the Philippines so the people will be distracted.  Today, it is still being used by the oligarchy to distract people from things that matter.

I am not against celebrating, I celebrate my birthday with people in a private gathering or a buffet in some restaurant.  Or at times, I choose to celebrate simpler with some food at a local Dimsum.  If anybody passes the board it's a call for celebration.  But what becomes wrong is when people insist that parties must be lavish even if they don't have money.

The idea that lavish parties help forget problems is stupid.  It's like liquor addiction.  Drinking liquor to unhe…

Satirical News: President Nobita's Band "No Direction" Becomes Overnight Sensation!

After President Nobita, Pink, Doraemar, Kill and Money formed their band "No Direction", it became a much bigger hit than One Direction overnight.  So basically move over One Direction because No Direction is the new music band.  While One Direction's concert is still next year so hopefully there will be more tickets for their fans, No Direction plans to do their first concert during the Nobita's SONA.

The group itself performed a rock rendition of the song "Bayan Ko" on Youtube shot by Presidential Adviser Doraemon which was performed using Kulintang and other native Filipino instruments.  It immediately got a lot of audiences from the Philippines and nobody cared that this was a sudden announcement.  Unlike One Direction who announced their arrival beforehand, this was a sudden phenomenon!

A lot of people from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao all flew over to SM Mall of Asia which had even jam packed MRT, taxis, jeepneys, buses and some even had to use the p…

Satirical News: President Nobita Forms Music Band Called "No Direction"

After the rather butthurt incident of the long line at the SM Mall of Asia to get the VIP ticket for One Direction, someone should realize by now that President Nobita (center) just formed a music band called "No Direction". Members are Butcher Abad, Mar Roxas, Kill Henares and Money Villar. Money Villar ran against President Nobita during the 2010 elections but lost. However he joined the band as well to gain popularity.
President Nobita said, "Well it's too bad the Filipino youth don't listen to OPM anymore.  You don't see them line up like that for OPM concerts. So sad that's why as President, I am now forming my band called 'No Direction' to counter One Direction's overly popular side. But they can still do their concert here but Filipinos still need some OPM."

The music band itself is expected to debut during the next SONA. As of right now, ABias-CBN will be their official recording studio. VIP tickets will be sold soon at the SM…

What Energy Secretary Pestiha is PROBABLY IGNORING!

I might be no electrical engineer or any related courses, but based on supply and demand, I can really see that Energy Secretary Jericho Pestiha is just stupid.  From his telling firms not to use airconditioner during the summer noon (wow, he could go as stupid as to even tell them not to use electric fan also huh?), now he thinks the Philippines is not an energy crisis.  But let's see I guess he knows the truth the Philippines NEEDS more power suppliers but out of "protectionism" for the greedy oligarghs and the rotten enforced 60/40, to protect Meralco or better yet called Meralconsumisyon because of the high rates.

In economics, there is the concept of monopoly where there is ZERO competition.  The oligarchs of the Philippines are greedy and only care about power.  Only one power provider is one reason why Luzon is so plagued with brownouts.  Also Meralco becomes free to abuse its power when there is no competition.  And with economic principles, low supply and high d…

Pinoys and One Direction Towards STUPIDITY!

I can understand people's love for music.  I mean I'm a fan of Lang Lang, Daniel Zhang, F4, 5566 and a lot more.  I can remember some events when F4 before they disbanded had their concerts.  I update on fan events but here's one thing I can think about these Pinoy fans of One Direction.  They are heading towards one direction alright- one direction of STUPIDITY!  This picture was from the SM Mall of Asia and they are here just for that ticket, rather than for some useful cause like overthrowing the oligarchy system!
And here's a fan bragging about getting ready to buy a super duper expensive ticket?  WTF!  No wonder many Pinoys with their spendthrift culture lack money when they need it.  And blessed are the poor?  Really, how nice would it be to live a life of utter difficulty, scraping food from the trash cans or stealing food all because of their utter obsession with One Direction?  All that money that was there could have been deposited in the bank, made into a c…

Pinoys and Putting Top Priority with Favorite Artists

Okay I'm not against having favorite music bands, I am a fan of several Chinese artists but I do not do a pilgrimage for them.  Sad to say but a lot of Pinoys just place too much priority on things they really don't need like the Muricans do.  You might as well think of the stupidity of the Kontemplasyon twins Joel and Jun Jun.  They wasted the film royalties where they starred as themselves in that leftist movie.  They didn't use it to improve their lives but rather squandered the money for nonsense.

It's something that fans of the band "One Direction" were lining up at the Mall of Asia to buy that ONE VIP TICKET and really, as if they will die without it.  I was thinking of the news of such stupidity.  I find it pathetic to how these people cried because they could not get the VIP tickets.  I mean come on, they are NOT kids anymore!  I can understand if as a child I cried over missing an episode of Bugs Bunny but this is utterly stupid.  They need to get a …

More Confessions of an Amy Jo Johnson Fan in the Past

So okay that photo isn't from MMPR, she guested in Campus Cops and sorry I don't have a better photo but I can discuss about my fandom of her and some silly things I did.  So here's what I thought.  Back in the 90s, MMPR was a monster hit but I was into the superficial side.  In fact, I can't help but admire how smoking hot she was.  And I was later shocked to learn she was 23 when the show began, which she looked like she was only 16 there!

Kimberly Hart was really my guilty pleasure and I cannot deny it.  I can remember how Kimberly Hart had her witty personality, she was kind of shallow at first but she has a heightened awareness for friends.  I remembered her friendship with Trini which was fun to watch.  I'll also confess my liking for Tommy was because of her.  Hehe.

I usually called MMPR as the "Kimberly show" for me.  I mean, I was so stuck wanting a girl who looks like her.  I would admit that during that time, I also did some rather absurd thin…

Satirical News: Energy Secretary Pestiha Proposes to No Electricity Operating Nationwide for a Month!

As if Energy Secretary Jericho Pestiha could not get any dumber, after ordering people not to use even electric fans during warm weather, he now encouraged for a one month energy blackout to solve the energy crisis.  According to him it will help "save power" and make the Philippines a model nation.  In his new model to save the economy, he proposes that the Philippines should have a one month blackout, all power companies should shut down and everyone should go back to "stone age" to save electricity.  He also mentioned that this would be the solution to any possible power crisis.

However at the hearing, Miriam Defensor Santiago had lost her temper yet again.  In fact, she called him "GAGO" too many times not caring for courtesy.  She said, "Man this guy is even dumber than the prosecutors that I have inflamed during the Corona impeachment trial.  Wah!  I wonder how this gago of an energy secretary is even the energy secretary.  His professors shoul…

Unpolished Rice

Eating unpolished rice would start to lessen the milling time which some white rice millers also mill brown rice.  The process is simple- once the rice paddy goes under the first step of milling and dehusking, the product is immediately brown rice.  The rice variety however will give different colors like standard brown to red and black.

Any kind of rice whether it was organically farmed or not would result to brown rice, except organic rice results in a darker variety of brown rice.  Some of its varieties can now be eaten by the common people.

You can have red rice and black rice which have higher nutrients than brown rice because they were organically grown.  However they are pretty expensive considering the low yields organic farming has on rice farming.  Organic brown rice is pretty expensive which is "rice for the rich".

I am yet to try the black rice variety.  This is said to be the most nutritious type of rice.

What's Wrong with the Pinoy Education System?

One of the biggest weaknesses of the Philippines today is the education system.  Despite the new implementation of K +12, is the system really ready for higher education?  One might consider these problems in the Philippine education system:

1.) Overly relying on the books which some of them are leftist written especially history books.  A teacher who begs to differ from the wrong information from the text book, he or she is at the risk of being fired.  One thing being bookish is not a good value.  Teachers should learn to seek more resources because a lot of textbooks sad to say are filled with the WRONG information.

2.) It's the system of "thou shalt not question the teacher at all" or "the teacher or superior is always right".  This mentality is another wrong trait that must be removed.  Teachers are human beings, they know better but that does not mean they can't be wrong.  It's utterly stupid how a Math teacher I knew quarreled with the judge of …

Satirical News: President Nobita Attempts Suicide After Too Many Butthurt Incidents!

President Nobita cannot handle the truth anymore that he is a lousy administrator and Nobitacrats cannot accept it that Nobita is not perfect.  The president's career was being criticized severely by political critics who only wanted to improve his performance.  The cybercrime law which he implemented because he was ridiculed online only made him an object of bigger ridicule since the jails cannot accommodate all the people guilty of that offense under the libel clause.  Worse, the thesis on Nobitacracy's effect on the Philippines was discussed over in ASEAN which caused him to get in trouble in the association itself. 
In a desperate moment, President Nobita went back to his office in the Malacanang and attempted to kill himself in front of reporters if they did not stop laughing at him.  However out of his no brainer moment, the suicide did not push through.  The reason why his suicide failed was because he forgot to load the gun with a bullet. The result was that President…

Oldie but Goodie: Why Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. is NO HERO!

Oldie but goodie... although the incident is back in the past but I felt like this is what is needed to be written especially that Miriam Santiago continues her tirades against incompetence (but she should change her mind about the removal of 60/40).  So Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. may have a board rating of 85.25% and Miriam Santiago only had a board rating of 78% but both passed, but the former is no hero.  So why is that?  Before you think I condone Miriam Santiago's use of "gago" towards the prosecutors, let us also consider the reality that Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. was also not showing courtesy as his opponent.

I would say that Miriam was getting overboard.  Come on, she should have lowered down her voice and not show she was angry when lecturing the incompetent prosecutors but I would have done so if I were in her place considering their INCOMPETENCE.  Calling anybody gago though I wouldn't agree that to be a room for impeachment, is still inappropriate nonetheless.  I…

Steven Slater is No Hero

One might remember the whole Jetblue Flight Incident with Steven Slater.  After an uncooperative passenger caused trouble, rather than be professional what did he do?  He said a lot of curse words via the airplane's intercom, grab some beer, inflated the emergency exit and ran off.  For some that incident last 2010 made him a hero but I'd like to really say that while I don't condone to bullying the service personnel BUT Steven Slater is no hero.

For one, his actions are what I would call him stooping down to the level of the bully flight passenger.  I mean he could have just resigned professionally or at least, complain it over to management.  But no, instead he decided to make a grandiose exit by swearing curse words.  That already revealed he was foul-mouthed. Now what was worse was that rather than apologize, he made that "grand exit".  For one, what he did was a violation of safety protocol and could have put not only his life in danger but also anybody ne…

The Failure of Nobitacracy

This meme from Deviant Art says it all.  I was thinking that the problem of people can be is how they are so easily carried away by impressionism.  I mean, one might consider some of the problems of the United States might be because of that, and the Philippines is no exemption from the same kind of stupidity that hits the third world countries.  People voted for Sherap all because he was a popular actor, the late FPJ was the real winner because he was an actor even with zilch political experience, you can have the list going on and people voted for President Nobita all because he resembled the cartoon Nobita (who is an only child in contrast to the real Nobita who has sisters, one notably Krisis).

And yeah, in a way the cartoon character they always watch on TV after 20 years became the current president of the Philippines.  If one remembers watching Doraemon, Nobita is obviously not taking things seriously.  Sad to say, this real life Nobita who didn't end up with Shizuka, thi…

Satirical News: Kamen Rider Gaim to Air in Philippines by GMA-7, Different Reactions Occur!

Compared to ABias-CBN which is too biased over anything that does not cater to Pinoy pride and Muricans, GMA-7 had agreed to air Kamen Rider Gaim as part of its Drama-rama during the afternoon.  Although Super Sentai is not returning to the Philippines and Power Rangers is usually shown at ABias-CBN when it feels like it, Kamen Rider of the Heisei era still has some place for drama lovers.  Now the plan to air Kamen Rider Gaim when it is over in Japan caused a reaction to Pinoy pridists because of this "notorious" and "infamous" scene from the series.

Kamen Rider Gaim showed how Manila was a dirty place and apparently, the screenshot came from Smoky Mountain.  Pinoy pridists who brag about the Philippines as a paradise and Tagalog pridists brag about Manila is the best, got mad when the truth was leaked out even more.  Pinoy pridists from Manila who lie  abut how "beautiful" their place is especially from Tondo, got mad at the footage being allegedly moc…

Degrees of Foreign Ownership that the Philippines Should Encourage!

The Philippines can be an economically progressive country and not just the Visayas.  Problem is, 60/40 is very self-serving to the government and it might soon become 70/40, 80/20 and even worse 99/1.  So here are what would be better than 60/40:

1.) For foreign companies who prefer joint venture:

a.) 50/50- Firms may want to start with a 50/50 fair deal.  It's more fair and equal and advantageous to both sides.  China started with 50/50 and ever since then, more nations want to invest there because the joint venture policy is fair though they are still kind of strict with granting 100% ownership.

b.) 40/60 to 10/90- They can also avail of having a 60% ownership up to 90% ownership as another package deal as either a start or upgrade.

Certain degrees of joint venture can be done in favor of the foreign company without being selfish.

2.) 100% ownership is also granted for firms that are established.  However, a probationary period of a joint venture may be given but they are to ch…

Are Anti-Nobitacracy People Immediately Pro-Macoy People?

Nobitacrats are probably more stupid than usual... and they immediately conclude that every person who criticizes their role model, President Nobita is immediately a Macoy loyalist.  WTF?!  If you ask me, people just voted for Nobita all because he was that cartoon character they always watched on TV, all because his late mother was part of EDSA.  And remembering EDSA-1, everybody just campaigned to vote for Cory all because of her dead husband Ninoy.  To be honest, where was Nobita during the coup de etat?  At the disco?  Unfortunately Nobita's clan just didn't help the country recover from the Macoy Dictatorship. The Philippines is just replacing one problem after the other- Macoyism is replaced by a wrong democracy ad now it's a Nobitacracy!  Really, a shame that Ninoy's son Nobita had become a disgrace for what his father died to liberate the country, and unfortunately the rest of the Aquino clan are disgracing the 500 peso bill.

To be honest, there are times ther…

Satirical News: American Ex-Pat Blob Blabbersky's Condition Worsens After Tondo Incident!

After Blob Blabbersky's arrest in Tondo, Manila, the Blob himself had become severely malnourished due to the fact all he would eat was pagpag while in Tondo and two, in prison, he refused to eat the food because it was part of "American culture" which he considered was evil.  He would only eat Filipino food because he believed that Filipinos are the blessed race.  His weignt dropped so dramatically he had begun to look terrible as all his excess skin created bizarre folds all over his body.  Some American doctor offered to remove the excess skin but he refused, wanting to be operated by a Filipino doctor which had caused problems.  The loss of his "beloved" Tondo had drive Blob into suicidal depression.  Blob tried to kill himself several times but there was too much skin on areas near his vital organs that it would not cut.

What was worse was that Blob's application for immigration to the Philippines was denied.  It was also figured out though he was Ame…

Satirical News: Toady Casino Reveals "Project Pinoypines"

Toady Casino after reading the articles from Get Real Philippines by Chino Fernandez had decided to finally reveal "Project Pinoypines" which according to him is the formation of the true "Pinoy nation".  Since the name Philippines is named after King Philip of Spain, he decided that the Philippines should be called the Pinoypines and has launched a campaign called "Project Pinoypines".  He has decided to go to the history museum to find how life before colonization began to create Project Pinoypines but being the hypocrite he is, has decided to keep some foreign influences for "convenience sake".

Here are the changes that will happen to the Philippines as planned by Project Pinoypines which is the revision of the Pinoy Pride Bill which has caused Toady Casino to become a laughing stock worldwide shortly after President Nobita's penitensya:

The Philippines shall hereby be renamed as the Pinoypines.  Philip is too foreign a name.  Pinoy is pu…

Philippine's 60/40 vs. China's New Change in Foreign Business Ownership

Some people say that Filipinos should feel blessed about the 60/40 mandatory rule which is a joint venture agreement but what most don't realize is that after the 1987 constitution, the damage left behind by the Macoy Administration had worsened.  In fact, Nobitacracy continues the damage (while conveniently blaming Gloria Abobo for everything) which is really bad.

The 60/40 rule states that every foreign corporation must have 60% to be owned by the Philippines and 40% to be owned by the foreign corporation. Though it sounds good in the name of "protectionism" but the huge problem is that, it's what basically was a problem in China before.  China tried to take control of every foreign corporation that way but later, Chinese business policies allowed a consideration of 100% ownership for certain firms within the Special Economic Zone.  China later dropped the mandatory China owns it more and has given options for more ownership of the foreign firm but what about the …

Basics in Making 3D Pictures!

Well I'm now waiting for further instructions to correct my important research but it doesn't mean I won't write when I can.  Now here's some trick from Photoshop that could be very useful.  Now it's time to make 3D pictures out of selected pictures.  Here's the trick:

Here's a picture of Victoria Justice my current favorite Nickelodeon girl we will use as the subject.  Now for the basics:

1.) Open any file in Adobe Photoshop.
2.) Second, duplicate the background once and name it "Red".
3.) Right click, select "Blending Options" and turn off the Green and Blue Channels.
4.) Select the "Move Tool" and press right a certain number of times, preferably five times.
5.) Duplicate the background again, make it into the second layer (Ctrl + ]) to move it upward from the first duplicated layer and name it "Cyan".
6.) Now move the second layer to the left probably at least three times.
7.) Trial and error until you get to see…

Victoria Justice Pictures for May 1, 2014

Well before I return back to concluding my research, here's just some pretty pictures I want to share.
I love her New York Shirt

I love her smile!

Pinoy Pridists and Anti-Foreignism

Well I feel like I want to write another satirical news for Toady Casino as of present because him and his Bobo Muna comrades are apparently in that whole stupid Pinoy pride or Pinoy superiority mentality as shown by the cartoon above.  I was thinking of what I wrote against Anti-Americanism and other stuff of what fools Pinoys can be and why they should be differentiated from Filipinos just like Muricans from Americans.  
A Pinoy Pridist is somebody who's Filipino by blood and has a wrong sense of pride about his country and himself.  And there's just some things that need to be brought up!  This has brought to my attention especially that the 60/40 mandatory joint venture is just plain stupid rather than giving the option of 100% to joint venture for foreign firms under regulation of course or the fact that Loko Atienza wants to ban foreign drama to "protect" the Pinoy entertainment industry from what he calls as a "threat to their livelihood."  
When we…