Satirical News: American Ex-Pat Blob Blabbersky's Condition Worsens After Tondo Incident!


After Blob Blabbersky's arrest in Tondo, Manila, the Blob himself had become severely malnourished due to the fact all he would eat was pagpag while in Tondo and two, in prison, he refused to eat the food because it was part of "American culture" which he considered was evil.  He would only eat Filipino food because he believed that Filipinos are the blessed race.  His weignt dropped so dramatically he had begun to look terrible as all his excess skin created bizarre folds all over his body.  Some American doctor offered to remove the excess skin but he refused, wanting to be operated by a Filipino doctor which had caused problems.  The loss of his "beloved" Tondo had drive Blob into suicidal depression.  Blob tried to kill himself several times but there was too much skin on areas near his vital organs that it would not cut.

What was worse was that Blob's application for immigration to the Philippines was denied.  It was also figured out though he was American by citizenship- he never formally applied for renunciation.  During the time he went to Tondo, his papers were all fake since he believed he could bypass the laws especially with Nobita as President.  With ongoing plans to give the Philippines a more open joint venture economy and considering that some companies may hold 100% ownership if qualified, Blob went crazy and shouted that he had lost his paradise at Tondo thanks to American influence.  Blob was last seen being insane and later found his live in partner Mediokra Tamad cheating on him with a fellow Tondo mate which drove him into further suicide attempts.

The doctors have all decided to keep Blob in Mandaluyong Mental Hospital because his condition has become too unstable.  An Ameican doctor again offered to surgically remove Blob's excess skin because his skin didn't shrink together to compensate for his sudden weight loss from eating pagpag and other forms of waste, as part of his insanity.  As of right now, Blob is being kept under strait jacket to make sure he does not hurt himself until they are able to find a way to stabilize him before deporting him back to his home country.  Surgery to fix his excess skin problem is being scheduled prior to his deportation.

Comments

  1. Ugh, that pic of Blob was so grotesque... D:

    ReplyDelete

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