Satirical News: Rurouni Kenshin- Kyoto Inferno Hits No. 1 at Philippine Box Office For Five Days, Bobo Muna Representative Neri Cuckonares Submits Anti-Japanese Law!
After Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno hit the Philippine Box Office at number one at the Philippine Box Office for five days straight, Neri Cuckonares decides to submit yet another ridiculous law called the "Anti-Japanese Law". After former Bobo Muna Representative Toady Casino had failed to stop the screening, Neri Cuckonares submits the Anti-Japanese Law.
"The Philippines has lost its sense of nationalism by preferring a Japanese movie over our Filipino movies. This is an outrage, a disaster to our love for country and all things Pinoy! I have drafted the Anti-British law to prevent One Direction from performing here next year, today I submit the Anti-Japanese Law which I want to be published as soon as possible. Worse, President Nobita has gone crazy when he declared Rurouni Kenshin the national Anime of the Philippines!" said Neri Cuckonares in an interview.
The Anti-Japanese Bill was previously written by Toady Casino and now it was modified by Bobo Muna Rep. Neri Cuckonares. The bill provides the following provisions:
- All Japanese products will be banned and everyone must buy only Pinoy products.
- All half-Japanese Filipinos will be due for exile. This was because one of the cast members of Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno namely Maryjun Takahashi is half-Filipino. It was reported that the actress refuses to give in to Pinoy Pride.
- All Japanese media will be banned from everywhere. There will be a strict enforcement of this law by checking all media devices if Japanese songs are in it.
- Japanese tourists will no longer be allowed to enter the country. The PNP is now trained to apprehend Japanese tourists.
- All foods of Japanese influence will be banned. Any local business selling foods of Japanese influence will be shut down.
- All those who watched Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno will be submitted to the Pinoy Pride Orientation Camp, to be lectured by Toady Casino.
Meanwhile, a conflict of interest occurred during the submission as Nobita Liberal Party members in Congress and Senate considered the bill by Cuckonares preposterous and stupid. President Nobita showed up to speak about the bill while wearing a samurai costume. No Direction performed their latest song called "I Love Rurouni Kenshin".
"The Anti-Japanese bill is a very dangerous thing. I mean, the Philippines and Japan are no longer enemies. Imperial Japan is long dead. The message behind Rurouni Kenshin was to open up to the world. It was a great movie indeed. Plus we need the help of Takeru Sato to replace the MRT which was hexed by Gloria." said President Nobita when asked about the bill.
The government plans to budget spending to buy Den-Liners from Japan to replace the MRT.