Satirical News: President Nobita Granted Emergency Powers... for His Brain!


After some heated exchange of thoughts, President Nobita was granted his emergency powers by the legislative and judicial body.  However it was not emergency powers for the nationwide energy crisis but to be granted emergency powers for his brain.  While the judicial and legislative usually do not meddle too much on health issues of government officials, but President Nobita's brain was confirmed to have been brain dead since 2010.

"Indeed we are really suffering a real crisis here.  A lot of the events in the Philippines are a result of the fact that, President Nobita is confirmed to be a brain dead person.  Here are the MRI scans that prove that Nobita's brain needs emergency powers.  The worst breakdown happened yesterday was when he said, he would allow better Internet services only if his cousin Bum Aquino can be allowed to show Red x Pink in all Philippine cinemas!" said a neurological surgeon from St. Luke's who refused to be disclosed.


Picture from Hacienda Luisita... the late Cory's younger days reveals Nobita's failed exams!

Here was a picture that residents of the Hacienda Luisita took of the late Cory Aquino during her younger days.  It was later verified that President Nobita had always hid his failing test results under their household rug, only for the late Cory Aquino to find them.  Now the pictures were disclosed which President Nobita cried saying, "Please don't do that in remembrance of mama!"

Emergency powers were granted for President Nobita's brain.  It was already specified by these "emergency powers" that President Nobita is scheduled to have a weekly MRI scan.  On the other hand, doctors from St. Luke have moved medical equipment into President Nobita's home.  An "electric chair" was moved that would require President Nobita's brain to be charged with electrical charges every early morning before he goes to work and one charge during the evening, before he sleeps.  The emergency powers were granted because it would cost at least PHP 150,000 and higher from tax payers' money to save President Nobita's brain.

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The Philippines is FULL of Yellow Journalism!