Dream Match: A White Woman vs. the Typical Chinese Mother-in-Law!


Perhaps one interesting battle that is worth seeing is how China must face change.  So Chinese men are having a hard time finding wives in China (thanks to male chauvinism in the past) and some fly west and never to return.  Now let's just think... what if the Chinese man decides to marry a white woman much to the chagrin of the Chinese family?  It's one battle I really want to see.

In old Chinese values, the mother-in-law has the most amount of authority.  It really sucks.  WIth China progressing, women know their rights but like every person who knows their rights, it's very possible to abuse your rights.  The mother-in-law is one person who can become a Woman Hitler.  So Chinese women today are no longer taught to be meek and quite (GOOD) but the problem can be those who were left behind by the old generation.

So I always thought... I really like the idea of Chinese marrying whites and what if one day, Madame Chinese Woman Hitler DOES NOT GET a Chinese daughter-in-law.  Worse, she's a white woman.  It always made me laugh at the idea of how it would really be better if enlightened Chinese men who realize how foolish their old values were, married white girls.  I can't imagine the shock that the Chinese woman Hitler will get as a result.



So what's my point?  Any form of bullying towards anyone is bad, no questions asked.  It should always be wrong to physically hurt someone unless you are defending yourself from an act of violence.  Mothers-in-law can be such a pain so it becomes practical to NEVER live with your parents when you get married.  But some of them are physically not at home BUT they are always nagging, nagging and nagging.  Some of them even drop by for a "visit" only to heckle the daughter-in-law.  Either they suffered the same treatment before OR they are just mean since not all all mothers-in-law are like that.

The son might say, "The reason why I married a white woman so you can't have a daughter-in-law you think you can control.  Wake up mom, you are living so much in the old Chinese system never mind, back then you women hardly meant anything in that old society!  Today, the old Chinese system is dead and both men and women have equal rights.  If you want the old Chinese system, say goodbye to it!  Besides, I love my white wife and well, most Chinese to Chinese marriages aren't working no thanks to you women Hitlers!"

On the other hand, the daughter-in-law might say, "Sorry mom, I am not Chinese.  Besides, we all live in a new society where we all share equal rights.  You should go back to China.  Stop messing our lives.  Oh wait, China has changed and you haven't.  Always mother-in-law is right?  Get real!  Nobody is always right!"

It's a problem when Chinese society overemphasizes the value of "filial piety".  It becomes wrong when the child must agree to EVERYTHING the parent does, even when the parent is wrong.  Some parents have set unrealistic goals and still continue with their bitter and cynical parenting methods, thinking it's for the best.  Sad to say but acts like slapping your child in public, name calling and the like are just as bad as overindulging them.  Life is not just all about giving or getting, it's both giving AND getting.

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