Satirical News: President Nobita Declares Persona Non Grata on Santa Claus!
Santa Claus reveals Nobita's name was always in the naughty list!!!!
After Santa Claus revealed the "Naughty and Nice List" to the public under the request of decent Pinoys. Santa Claus processed the documents from the North Pole, he revealed a lot of truths he had neglected about President Nobita for years. It was revealed that President Nobita never got a gift from Santa Claus because he was always in the naughty list.
Past classmates and teachers of President Nobita revealed many of Nobita's gross offenses as a child. Mrs. Claus exclaimed, "That little boy must not get a present!" whenever President Nobita was mentioned. It was revealed Nobita was lazy, cheating during exams, he also showed favoritism and free rode on his parents a lot. Letters were written to Santa Claus complaining how Nobita was frequently a naughty boy. What was later found at the Hacienda Luisita was that President Nobita always got coal every Christmas but not just a stocking full of it, but rather truckloads of coal.
President Nobita was never so humiliated in his life as every last charge of him was revealed by Santa Claus. Santa Claus during an interview with CNN said, "I cannot deny how I complied with the request. While I had denied many requests because I only give toys, books and children's presents which many of them can't afford but the matter of Nobita's being in the naughty list for a LONG TIME cannot be neglected. The Filipino people are suffering because a man-child rules their country. I cannot ignore that request anymore! Besides with No Direction having a concert this Christmas, it will indeed be a horrible holiday!"
In response, President Nobita declared persona non grata on Santa Claus. He forbade Santa Claus from ever delivering presents on Christmas Eve within Philippine territory. He also got mad because Santa Claus also listed Franklin Drilon, Jose Abad, Kill Henares, Doraemar Roxas, Pink Lacson, Money Villar, Stinky Soliman, Bum Aquino and Liar Dilemma as wide exposed for being naughty. Santa Claus had noted Bum Aquino as that "perverted Senator who loves Red x Pink".
However, Santa Claus had given his assurance saying, "I will be able to get past their defenses. Besides, the Philippine Army is so primitive how can they shoot me down? Toku villains have done that to me but no, not the Philippine Army! Ho ho ho!"