Satirical News: Retired PNP Chief, Alan Impurisima Slammed For Talking Nonsense About Boycotting Made In China!


Alan Impurisima is said that he always blurts out nonsense.  From the time he said he did not give Getulio Napunas an order but only an advice, he has now talked more nonsense yet again when it came to the issue of Made in China.  With the current conflict between the Philippines and China, Impurisima has yet to spew out more nonsense on how to protest against China.  He was last seen in the Senate House where President Nobita asked him to share his opinion on how they can deal with the aggressiveness of China's infamously dangerous General Damulag and the massive army.  Rumors say that General Damulag has been assigned to beat up President Nobita yet again.

"In order to defeat China, we must first weaken its economy.  That is, if you buy anything imported, don't buy anything that is made in China.  You can buy anything that was made in Vietnam, made in Taiwan, made in Hong Kong, made in wherever as long as you do not buy anything that is made in China.  That way, we can protest against China and weaken their economy at the same time without firing a single bullet.  That way, we can all volt-in with Japan, Vietnam, Taiwan and Hong Kong as well as other affected countries to defeat China's army.  They would not have enough to feed General Damulag's Army." said Impurisima during the session.

However, it was discovered that Impurisima was using an i-Phone 6 with a marking, "Made in China" on its internal parts.  When he was questioned by critics to why he was using a product made in China when he called for a boycott for products made in China, he only replied, "My i-Phone 6 is not made in China, it was just assembled in China - it was made in America but assembled in China!  If a product's brand did not originate from China, then it's not made in China, it's just assembled in China.  Making and assembling a product unit are two different issues.  I know some of you use Samsung Smartphones which are assembled in Vietnam but they are still made in South Korea because the brand is South Korean and my i-Phone unit was made in America because the brand was American but it was assembled in China."

Unfortunately for him, Senator-Judge Miriam Defensor Santiago was not able to hold her cool and slammed Impurisima yet again saying, "My goodness Mr. Impurisima!  First you dare to say you did not give an order, just an advice to General Getutio Napunas.  Now you dare say that making and assembling a product and making a product are two different things?  In the dictionary, when you make something you form something by combining substances together.  Assemble is defined as to connect or put parts together.  So then, even if the parts were from different parts of the world, if they were assembled in China then basically they are still considered to be made in China.  Maybe your i-Phone's parts did not come from China but they were more or less put together in China and still made in China.  Don't talk with me like that, words are my very livelihood.  If you should call for boycott, boycott Chinese brands but not made in China.  What is made in China is not necessarily a Chinese product!  Consider yourself admonished!"

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