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Satirical News: Chinese Government Shows Links Between Stinky Soliman And Illegal Chinese Food Manufacturers!


Chinese government had done some investigation on the recent food scandals that have plagued their country.  Fake rice, fake eggs, fake noodles, gutter oil, some restaurants that were caught feeding people dead fetuses, dog and cat meat trading - you name it were under the top list of the Chinese government for immediate shutdown.  The Ministry of Health of the People's Republic of China Li Dequan together with China Food and Drug Administration Bi Jingquan have done some investigations.  It was discovered that several Chinese illegal food manufacturers also had transactions with Stinky Soliman which plastic rice had actually made it into the Philippines during Typhoon Yolanda.

Bi Jingquan had revealed that some Chinese people who got arrested actually had dealings with Stinky Soliman.  Pictures revealed that Stinky's most frequent spots of arrival were on Dongguan, China where she would purchase fake eggs, fake rice and just everything fake.  Shipments were made to the Philippines late at night.  However it was reported that some of the Chinese merchants responsible for the manufacturing of fake products are hiding in the Philippines and receiving protection from the Commission of Human Rights.  She suspects that some of them have already established business zones in Metro Manila and that unfortunately, President Nobita refuses to give them an extradition treaty to arrest them.

Wu Aiying the Chinese justice minister had revealed that Commission of Human Rights had not only asked for the pardon of Elizabeth Bitayin, Ramon Credo and Sally Violationa but also of Chinese criminals who were involved in the melamine scandal.  She also revealed that Zheng Xiaoyu prior to his execution was also good friends with Stinky.  A picture of the late Zheng revealed he was eating Peking Duck with Stinky in Beijing.  What seemed to be just a friendly encounter turned out to be that the late Zheng had done business with Stinky in supplying her melamine-tainted milk.  As of late, Stinky was discovered to have been given supplies of fake rice, fake eggs and fake noodles where she used them as relief goods.

Xi Jinping had released his official word saying, "We will stop our patrolling at the West China Sea at one condition.  We will leave Spratlys alone if you decide to hand us over Stinky Soliman and her comrades from China.  We would also want to have every last member of the Commission of Human Rights handed to us alive including Etta Rosales.  We also demand the Bitays be handed over for their repeated financial scams in China so we can punish them accordingly.  If that is done, we will stop our reclamation projects, if not we will attack the Malacanang, the Commission of Human Rights headquarters, the Department of Social Welfare and Development headquarters without further warning.  We also want the members of Bobo Muna, Akbobo and Migraine International handed over to us.  General Damulag is ready to be deployed at any time and just because President Nobita won't get a second term doesn't mean there aren't any other reasons for us to attack Imperial Manila!"

Stay tuned for further developmetns!

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