What I was thinking about was my College stalker, a supposed "relationship" I nearly entered with a stalker. I would admit she was hotter than my high school stalker and she was at least, more dignified than my high school stalker as not to do the stalking in such an open manner. For that reason, I would consider this was a very difficult temptation to avoid.
I would admit that the fact she looks like Ayumi Kinoshita (but she was neither Chinese nor Japanese but she may have Chinese ancestry) made her a very difficult snare to avoid. Aside from her good looks, she was also academically brilliant which caught my attention. Beauty and brains... what more could I want and I wanted to enter into a relationship of convenience.
What really became bad was when I never expected somebody like her to be a stalker considering her academic track. Instead, I found out the hard way (sort of) that while she was serious about her studies, she was also a flirt. Hmmm... there could be several combinations wouldn't it? And I am starting to think about what was happening in between this love interest. I could admit that I was giving in to her, even trying to entertain this two year fling that was coming between me and some other girls.
While my hot College stalker was starting to attempt to flirt with me but rather subtly (which I didn't immediately notice) I was also in love with a girl who looks like Haruka Suenaga who I thought of as a more positive. Which I had wrong reasons to reject my really hot College stalker over some girl who looks like Haruka Suenaga. What made her a hard catch was because she was really very popular among the boys and a real life Mary Sue.
For the Haruka Suenaga lookalike, she was really highly approved for my folks. She was pretty, sexy, smart and not to mention she was Chinese which I wanted her for a status symbol, not for a real loving relationship. She would really, really be approved for my family and a worthy daughter-in-law which could have landed into a loveless marriage. At the same time, I was also trying to get back to my ex-girlfriend though I decided to honor the commitment to remain friends.
My ex-girlfriend was recommending the Haruka Suenaga-lookalike over my real hot College stalker who looks like Ayumi Kinoshita. Then again, what was really crazy at the same time, I was finding myself still in love with the Sayuri Uchida lookalike too. And I would admit that because I had no more girlfriend after my ex, I wanted to go after the Ayumi Kinoshita lookalike. This didn't sit so well with the Ayumi Kinoshita lookalike that she decided to get clingy with me. I may have wanted to antagonize her but... I had to be more subtle. I would confess I did get physically violent with a love interest who was such a bitch.
What was really absurd was how I wanted to use the China girl for my own personal advantage. So I would say for awhile, we both had a mutual agreement towards a common enemy. The China girl didn't like the Ayumi Kinoshita lookalike, I was planning to cut myself off from her. But in the end, the China girl had advised me it's always better to be blunt against such epople without being violent. I would admit that at that point, I really wanted the China girl but courting her was like trying to dig water from a dry well. I had to cut off that love interest off my life because of incompatibility.
So what was going on? At first, I wanted to enter into a pretend relationship with my half-Swiss friend to get rid of the Ayumi Kinoshita lookalike. But all I soon decided was to stop pretending. If I can't stand pretentious people, shouldn't I stop pretending what Im not? I soon held into myself saying, "I'd rather have no girlfriend than to be with someone who I am heavily disagreeing with. Disagreement isn't hate, it's just like oil and wate. Sorry I can't be with you." Which of course, I would say it was better not to have that person... than to have someone who I cannot agree with.