Satirical News: Philippine President Nobita and Vice President Jejemon Binay Barred from Entering China Until Term is Over


After locking up the Pinoy Pridists that caused trouble in Shenzhen and Xiamen, China had decided to ban Philippine President Nobita and Philippine Vice President Jejemon Binay from entering their country until their term is over. President Hu Jintao and Chief Justice Zhou Qiang both agreed on that. The reason was stated was because of President Jejemon Binay's bad habit of asking amnesty for guilty Filipinos who deserved to be executed in China.

"Every time Nobita or Jejemon comes here, they always comes here to plead for the lives of guilty Filipino OFWs who were caught doing criminal acts worthy of death. If we do that when a Chinese commits a crime in other countries and we bring them back, we are bringing back the garbage to our country. They are doing the same to theirs. Why we are executing the Pinoy drug mules is not because we hate Filipinos but because we uphold the law. When a Chinese commits a crime, he is just as guilty as everybody else. In fact, until their term is over, we will no longer allow Nobita and Jejemon to set foot here in China. However then they are no longer in power, the ban on them is lifted. Should Jejemon become President, I will continue the barring on Jejemon alone but Nobita is free to enter the country when he's not in power." said President Xi Jinping.

On the other hand, provisions concerning Filipinos were placed concerning the restrictions:
  • Any family or relative of Nobita or Jejemon who isn't in politics can enter.
  • Filipino tourists can enter China as long as they abide by visa laws and Chinese laws. However they are prohibited from rallying for either Nobita or Jejemon to get their ban lifted prematurely.
  • Nobita and Jejemon can enter China only when they are no longer in power. That means after Nobita's presidency and he is not in power anymore, he is free to enter China whenever he wishes as long as he follows rules. Same rule applies for Binay- only when he is no longer in power can he enter China under tourist status. If Binay is president for 2016 then he is still barred from entering China.

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