Satirical News: President Nobita Performs "Penitensya" on Good Friday, Becomes Laughing Stock Worldwide!

Yes folks he did it!  He performed the penitensya.

After declaring propeller caps as the alternative form of transportation, President Nobita was yet scathed by so many critics he decides to "appease them" by his latest stupid decision - to perform the "penitensya" by crucifying himself in public.  On Good Friday noon, everyone was invited to witness Nobita's self-crucifixion and get free ampaw and soft drinks.  Medical experts and others were there to make sure that the President doesn't injure himself.  Carpenters were hired to perform Nobita's "penitensya" which amazingly he felt no pain as it was carried out.  ABias-CBN, GMA and other networks were there to record the event.  International networks such as CNN and BBC were also there to record the event.

Ampaw was served to everyone who listened to Nobita's "seven statements" which were namely 1.) the benefits of 60/40 ownership, 2.) why Philippines should not apologize to China, 3.) why EDSA should always be remembered, 4.) the project to restore NAIA, 5.) he has no fault and it's all Gloria's fault, 6.) the benefits of pwede na yan culture and 7.) why vote for whoever he endorses for President.  Candidates for his team's presidential candidate for 2016 will either be Marred Roxas or Krisis Aquino depending on who his tiny brain chooses.  People ate ampaw and drank soft drinks while they listened to President Nobita.  The Tondo squatters all attended causing trouble with their unruly behavior to adore President Nobita as a hero for the people.  Before the closing of President Nobita's seven statements, everybody sang "Always Look at the Bright Side of Life" by Eric Idle.  Later President Nobita was lowered from the cross after the penitensya and was given immediate treatment for his wounds at the Patrick Star Hospital.

ABias-CBN called President Nobita as a heroic president.  Guinness World Book of Records plans to record Nobita as the first president in the world to perform the penitensya.  Unfortunately the rest of the world thinks otherwise.  BBC, CNN and other stations around the world called Nobita as a desperate idiot trying to regain approval of the people and that Pinoys are no-brained with how they think about the Nobitacratic administration as an idiotic government rewinding the events of the late Rolando Murderza to pleading for the Pinoy drug mules in China.  Other nations are amazed at how stupid President Nobita has become.  Mel Gibson meanwhile plans to direct a film soon based on President Nobita's administration which is tentatively called "The Peabrain of President Nobita" with Eric Idle's son Cary Idle tentatively assigned to play the part of President Nobita but will have to wait until the next Philippine president arrives.