Satirical News: China Threatens to Attack Imperial Manila Should President Nobita Get a Second Term!


While China may agree to get a truce with the rest of the Filipino people but for President Hu Jintao he has not yet forgiven President Nobita.  President Nobita was infamous for his refusal to apologize to China for the Manila Hostage Crisis incident last August 22, 2010.  The talks of President Nobita attempting to get a second term has provoked China to send an ultimatum to the Philippines.  The awakened dragon ha already set rules that until President Nobita's term is over, he is not allowed to step inside Chinese territory.

The Chinese government has decided to double its firepower to prepare for the eventual moment that President Nobita should get a second term.  Its agent Damulag has been last seen in Spratlys Island, trying to defend China's claim over it.  Now the problem has escalated that China has heard of talks that President Nobita could get a second term after 2016.  The only reaction was hostility, China sent a death note written in English to the Philippine Embassy that they will bomb Imperial Manila should President Nobita get a second term.  The Chinese Army has now doubled its firepower and is set to attack Imperial Manila anytime.

To prove China was not bluffing, they had sent some Chinese agents to try and beat up members of the Philippine government who seek to extend the term of President Nobita.  Among those beaten up by a group of Chinese thugs were Bureau of Internal Robbery Konsomisyuner Kill Henares, Chief Justice Raissa Ruthless and Justice Secretary Liar Dilemma.  The Chinese thugs had also vandalized the Senate with a sign, "NO MORE SECOND TERM FOR PRESIDENT NOBITA."  A bomb was last spotted at the Nobita Aquino International Airport to prove that they are not bluffing that they will bomb Imperial Manila should President Nobita get his second term as president of the Philippines for 2016.

The situation was further tightened when Kill Henares, Raissa Ruthless and Liar Dilemma were submitted to a severe ice bucket challenge by the Chinese goons.  Others who were caught by the Chinese goons were Franklin Drill-on, Doraemar Roxas, Pink Lacson, Money Villar, Krisis Aquino, Jericho Pestiha, Bum Aquino and Krisis Aquino.  The Chinese goons filled the buckets with several tons of cold ice, making it colder than the usual ALS awareness research.  They were tied down to their seats, they were repeatedly doused with super duper icy cold water as a warning that China would not tolerate President Nobita getting a second term.  Hours later, they were released all shivering. No Direction was also warned that should they perform another infernal concert, China will open fire immediately.

Another warning set by the Chinese Army was that Damulag had crucified at least ten members of Bobo Muna, five members of Akbobo and twenty members of Migraine International at Spratlys Island.  The members were reportedly left to hang there to death as a warning to the Philippines.  The Chinese goons also had bombed some theaters that were only showing Pinoy movies to show that they were not joking.  Sad to say, President Nobita has just laughed off the threat like it was a game.

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