Satirical News: Chinese Government Reveals Offenses of the Bitays in China!


The Bitays are given persona non-grata by the Chinese government!

After Jejemon Bitay was named as a possible candidate by 2016 and with the Philippines having the possibility of a Bitay presidency, China has further imposed the already implemented persona non-grata against the Bitay family.  China had uncovered some recent incidents involving the Bitay family that may give them more reason to make the persona non-grata against the Bitays a lifetime.

VP Jejemon Bitay has been helping out illegal Chinese businessmen make a livelihood in the Philippines.  Chinese government has considered that VP Jejemon Bitay has been helping Chinese criminals escape China's chopping board by giving them "It's More Fun in the Philippines" permits.  A Chinese lawyer named Anthony Lin commented, "Yes indeed it's more fun in the Philippines for Chinese people who are due for the chopping board.  Bitay should have deported them back to us.  Looking at how Bitay wanted us to pardon the three drug mules Elizabeth Batain, Ramon Credo and Sally Villanueva, he has also protected Chinese drug traffickers.  Maybe, just maybe, that is the cause why a lot of the drug mules are Filipino."  Allegedly, VP Jejemon Bitay also helped out some Chinese businessmen in their smuggling operations in exchange for money under the table.

Nancy Bitay was caught scamming people with unjustly priced bibingka in China.  The Chinese govenrment also mentioned that Nancy Bitay sold bibingka at PHP 1,000.00 a piece in China.  One Chinese mentioned, "I was excited at the idea of us Chinese eating Filipino style delicacy for a cultural exchange.  To be honest, I went to the Philippines and I discovered bibingka is much cheaper, it's as cheap as Chinese style rice cake here!  That was a real scam."  During the investigation, Nancy Bitay was not in China when the scam was caught.  Two members namely Juan Bigas and Pedro Gatas of the Bitay bibingka scam were locked up.  However no member of the scam will be sentenced to death due to the fact nothing harmful was added into the bibingka, it was just overpriced.  Bigas and Gatas who both pleaded guilty may be released by May 16, 2016 just in time for the elections.

Investigations are still going on which alleged that Dr. Elenita Bitay, wife of VP Bitay was buying illegal Chinese medicine by the bundles for the Makati Hospital scam.  Mayor Junjun Bitay allegedly had every brick signed with Jackie Chan's signature (via forgery) in order to justify the Makati HS Building Scam.  Investigations of other possible offenses of the Bitays is still underway.

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