Satirical News: China's President Xi Jinping Prepares Philippine VP-Jejemon Bitay's Travel Ban on China for 2016!

Vice President Jejomar Binay: How nice will he be to his allies when he becomes President in 2016?
China still considers him a nuisance!

The Chinese presidency could not forget Jejemon Bitay's appeal to save the lives of Elizabeth Bitayin, Ramon Non-Credo and Sally Violationa.  The three drug mules were convicted anyway in spite of Philippine VP-Jejemon Bitay's pleading ofr their lives.  After President Nobita was barred from entering China until term is over, Jejemon Bitay's travel ban was extended.

President Xi Jinping had earlier met with President Nobita in Indonesia had said, "Well President Nobita may get his ban prematurely lifted.  After all, he gave in to the conditions that we gave that unless he stops his candidacy, we will definitely attack Imperial Manila.  General Damulag's forces are still in the South China Sea, stationed at Spratlys.  Our concern is that Jejemon Bitay may become President of the Philippines by 2016.  President Nobita's ban was conditioned to be lifted when he is no longer in office.  Since it looks like Jejemon Bitay will become President of the Philippines, we will continue his ban.  Should he lose the presidency, we will definitely drop the travel ban we have set on Bitay."

Conditions for Jejemon Bitay's ban are as follows:
  • As long as Jejemon Bitay occupies any seat of power in the Philippines, every entry he makes is illegal.  Right now, since he is the Vice President of the Philippines, any entry he makes is illegal.
  • No member of the Bitay clan who is still in power may enter into China.  Only members of the Bitay clan who are not in power may enter China.  Even if Jejemon Bitay does not become president, any Bitay clan member in power is still not allowed to enter China.
  • Any friend or ally of Bitay in power is also prohibited from entering China.
  • The Chinese Army has been tasked to keep strict enforcement.  Should any member of the Bitay Presidency or any Bitay clan member in power force themselves to enter, they may be sentenced to four to six years imprisonment until their term in the Philippines is over or longer depending on the gravity of the crime.
  • Failure to follow any of the rules may result to China declaring open fire at the Malacanang Palace and Imperial Manila.

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