Satirical News: Mrs. Loida Nicolas-Lewis Says Kris Aquino Will Be The Best President For 2022!


Loida Nicolas-Lewis continues to make headlines right now. After her call to make President Rodrigo R. Duterte resign she's actually revealed her next master plan. She also revealed the new movement called "Make Kris Aquino President For 2022." as part of her new propaganda.

"When Duterte resigns, I suggest that after Leni's term that all Filipinos must be under of rule of Kris Aquino. Don't forget how much I did for your country. Your country is only free when it's under the Liberal Party. You were all fools to vote for Duterte and not for Mar. Remember a Marcos is never to be trusted for being a Marcos. No Marcos is redeemable and all Aquinos are good. All political dynasties are not allowed except they be part of the glorious Liberal Party. I suggest that when Leni Robredo becomes president she must pick Kris Aquino as her vice president." said Mrs. Lewis in an interview.

The whole statement raised a couple of eyebrows. Many Filipinos who are now fed up with Kris TV got mad. A lot of hate comments against Mrs. Lewis was raised. Comments such as, "SHUT THE F*CK UP YOU OLD HAG! YOU DON'T OWN THE PHILIPPINES!" were raised. A protest was held at the U.S. embassy burning effigies of Ms. Aquino as a result.

In response, Mrs. Lewis replied, "How dare they be ungrateful for Kris Aquino. She's a highly moral woman and will be the most fit to rule the country after Leni ends her term. Why do they want a Nazi dictator like Duterte to rule over them? Kris Aquino will be the new symbol of democracy! Of course, her vice president must be Mar Roxas to continue the straight road."

Later alleged leaks said that that Mrs. Lewis allegedly planned to purchase all 7,107 islands of the Philippines. It was leaked that she intends to rename the Philippines as PNoypines. Transactions between former president Nobita Aquino and Mrs. Lewis revealed her plan to purchase the Philippines were said to have been made. The legitimacy of the PNoypines leaks will still be investigated. It's also said that Senator Leila Dilemma had prepared papers to give all 7,107 islands under the ownership of Mrs. Lewis. The Department of Justice is still willing to investigate the charges to determine the final fate of the Liberal Party.

Justice Secretary Vitaliano N. Aguirre said, "This is treason and a violation of human dignity. I don't care who Mrs. Loida Nicolas Lewis is but she's nothing even with all her wealth. If she thinks she can purchase the Philippines for herself then that's treason. It's a good thing I left the Liberal Party with Senator Panfilo Lacson. The Department of Justice will have this investigated. President Duterte must move to declare Persona Non Grata on Mrs. Lewis as soon as possible.The Philippines is not for sale and no nation is for sale. This is a respect of national sovereignty. We do business there we follow their rules. They do business here they follow our rules." Aguirre did his trademark ear covering with his friends while Mrs. Lewis talked on TV to protest. His reasons were that not because Mrs. Lewis was talking loudly but because she's spewing a lot of nonsense. He swears he will not offer any apologies to both Mrs. Lewis and Senator Dilemma for his rude gestures.

The chain reaction reached Japan and Hong Kong. TV Tokyo announced that they will make a new Garo movie called, "LOIDA!" where Sayaka Akimoto will resume her role as Biku. Toei Ltd. also announced that they may make Kyuranger's main villain based on Mrs. Lewis herself. Tsubaraya Productions also announced that the next Ultraman series may feature a monster known as Loida. Media Asia Inc. also vowed to release a Wuxia film called "The Fall of Wicked Empress Luei Da." which will be set in ancient China but will represent the Filipino people's struggle against Mrs. Lewis. Whether or not an American production is along the way remains to be seen.

Stay tuned for further developments!

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