Satirical News: Toady Casino Proposes Anti-Chinese Bill!

Bobo Muna leader Toady Casino now passes a new bill called the "Anti-Chinese Bill" to which he espouses Rolando Murderza as a hero.  He writes the bill hoping to save the Pinoy race in the name of protectionism and to protect Pinoy businesses from competition that could obliterate them.

"The Philippines for the Filipinos, we Filipinos are frequently oppressed by the Chinese businessmen that come here!  We are threatened by the likes of Henry Sy and Tony Tancaktiong.  After all, Marcos was a Chinese by blood president and any more Chinese in politics will ruin us for sure with their Maoist dictatorship!  That's why I am proposing to remove Jose Rizal as the national hero of the Philippines because he was Chinese by blood and to replace him with a more honorable figure such as Rolando Murderza.  The Philippines lost three valiant heroes namely Elizabeth Bitayin, Ramon Non-Credo and Sally Violationa in China as well as 19 years ago, to Singapore when Flor Contemplacion was unjustly hanged there!" said Toady Casino in an interview to which he spoke in Tagalog.

The Anti-Chinese Bill as written by Toady Casino with the Bobo Muna Party List to help with the contents wrote the following provisions which he says is to "save the Filipino people" from the "oppressive Chinese" aside from the Pinoy Pride bill which according to him is for the security of the Philippines:
  1. Filipino-Chinese will be considered as strangers and illegal immigrants to save the country and will be lumped together with the illegal Chinese.  We could care less how many generations they are in here, only Pinoys belong to the Philippines!
  2. Pinoys with Chinese blood are considered impure and evil.
  3. Businesses that are founded by Filipino-Chinese will be deemed illegal and will be shut down even if they are paying taxes.
  4. Chinese doing business in the Philippines will be shut down.
  5. Chinese culture will be barred as a nuisance to the pureness of Pinoy culture.  That is anybody who uses anything contributed by Chinese will be executed.  This will be accompanied by the anti-pancit bill because the Chinese introduced pancit.  Another bill to be passed is the anti-dimsum bill.
  6. March 17 and 30 will be national holidays.  March 17 is for Plor Kontemplasyon, March 30 is the "Three Martyrs in China" day.  
  7. Chinese tourists will no longer be allowed in the country and be deemed illegal.  Should they force themselves, the PNP will be ordered to take the bus and kill the passengers in it on the spot.
  8. Any movie with a Chinese in it will be deemed illegal.
  9. Should China or any Chinese-dominant countries execute any more Filipinos, then the Philippines will go to war against China without U.S. aid.

The bill was passed today after the incident in Singapore involving Rolando Morona and his gang of Pinoy pridists who attacked Singapore.  The problem was further aggravated when Singaporean authorities refuse to grant pardon for the Pinoy pridists who they have detained in Changgi Prison for the Plor Kontemplasyon Day incident.  To Toady Casino, the Pinoy are the greatest race and that one day, the Philippines will rule the world.  Currently, Toady Casino has written in draft the "Project Pinoy Empire: The Philippines as The Ruler of the World" which he bragged will be a best seller.

When asked about this bill, Miriam Defensor Santiago only said, "I have taken my word back when I falsely accused China of inventing the concept of corruption.  This bill is preposterous. They are all "gago" and this might the time I will not agree to strike it off the records compared to the prosecution since they were just a little portion to show the Pinoy incompetence.  I mean, the Filipino-Chinese are our fellow Filipino and everyone who lives in the Philippines is a Filipino!  I don't want to mingle with Pinoy pride which is destroying the country!  WAH!  One nonsense law after the other like the Pinoy Pride Bill then the anti-Chinese bill.  It's obvious we have the wrong priorities here in the country!  Once again WAH!"