Satirical News: Agnes Callamard Says There Is No Proof Firecrackers Are A Health Hazard

Agnes Callamard is no stranger to controversy such as when she said that there is no evidence shabu leads to violent behavior. After she decided to help Maria Isabel Lopez get her license back she now decides to help Marbobo Roxas and Jim Paredes. This time, she said that there is no proof that firecrackers are a health hazard.

"It's clear that President Duterte is a tyrant. Whether it's his war on shabu which has no harm on the brain, now I want to present clear proof that firecrackers aren't a health hazard. No, Filipinos should be allowed to celebrate with firecrackers. The smog in India that happened during Diwali wasn't even a health hazard. President Duterte should drop his firecracker control policy or face charges at the International Criminal Court." said Callamard in an interview at Crappler with Maria Ressa.

Unfortunately for Callamard, more Filipinos who are fed up with firecracker injuries decided to attack her widely on social media. Her plans to go on vacation in Tondo, Manila were cancelled due to a huge social media war. Some residents in Manila have decided to celebrate Christmas Eve by putting signs of "Agnes Callamard you're not welcome here." signs. 

President Rodrigo R. Duterte finally responded in Tagalog, "That daughter of a bitch. If she thinks firecrackers are harmless then she should prove it by playing them with herself first. If she can recklessly play with firecrackers and not get hurt - I will lift up the ban. If she gets hurt, she will have no right to go to the hospital either."

President Duterte announces that New Year's Eve will have a public celebration where the song "Rebentador Rock" will be played in honor of Callamard.

Stay tuned for further developments!