Satirical News: Light A Firecracker Against Duterte Movement Failed Due To Defective Firecrackers

What would have been the most glorious event in history turned into an event of monumental failure. The "Light a Firecracker Against Duterte" movement failed for this reason - the firecrackers that arrived for the attendees to use were proven defective.

The first move was Cynthia Patay's attempt to blow up Yellow Cab in EDSA. They soon found out that the firecrackers were defective at that point. Others tried to use more firecrackers only to realize that all of them were defective. Leah Navarro's attempt to blow up stores that sold Lea Salonga-Chien's records instead of hers also ended in failure due to defective firecrackers. Worse, one could see Kris Aquino, Agot Isidro and Korina Sanchez-Roxas crying like toddlers when they discovered all the firecrackers were defective.

It turned out to be that Atty. Persida V. Rueda-Acosta, PNP Chief Roland "Bato" Dela Rosa and Justice Secretary Aguirre set things beforehand. The precaution was to wet all the firecrackers that #TindigPilipinas members wanted to use. Some firecracker vendors were actually Duterte youth members in disguise. They sold boxes of firecrackers to Paredes but they were all defective.

"You don't announce any plan like that. By announcing it, we were ready for it." said PNP Chief Dela Rosa. The PNP Chief revealed a video that they wet the firecrackers, let them dry and packed them in boxes and had agents sell them to Paredes.

"I thought I would have to cover my ears again due to the firecrackers. Hehe. They should have not announced their plan otherwise we would have not known how to do a counterattack." said Justice Secretary Aguirre who did the gesture.

PNP Chief Dela Rosa, Atty. Acosta and Justice Secretary Aguirre all did the ear covering gesture to make fun of the failed revolution. 

Paredes was last seen losing his temper and was made fun of in social media. However, he said that he will not give up until Duterte resigns. 

Happy New Year! Stay safe!