Chinese Mother-in-Law Problems and Intermarriages


If there's anything more stereotypical to handle -- it's the Chinese mother-in-law! They tend to be sharp-tongued, bitter, cynical, double standard, insulting, overruling, etc. You name it! Some mothers are only gentler when they are younger. However, they become cynical and bitter as they grow older. It doesn't get any better to have a Chinese mother-in-law. either

There's really some bad news for these controlling Chinese mothers-in-law. Filial piety DOES NOT exempt them from the rule of give and take. The problem is in the traditional, typical Chinese society it becomes the norm that "Parents are always right." -- even when they are wrong. For me, I'm really just thinking that there's the need for Yin and Yang. I still believe in submissiveness and discipline but NEVER in a tyranny. Sad to say, Chinese mothers-in-law are pretty much some of the worst tyrants to handle. Blah blah blah! I just thought after rereading the Joy Luck Club, I thought it's possibly time to write about Chinese men who have broken the stereotypes.


Just a real thought... I am appreciative of Chinese men who are marrying non-Chinese women to piss off their overly bearing mothers. This is especially if they happen to be white girls. I really think Western women are already expected to fight back. This is a contrast compared to the Chinese women who in the past are wrongly trained to be overly submissive. They're still expected to be submissive even to abusive spouses or worse the mother-in-law. Submissiveness is necessary but putting one's self in danger isn't. Western women can really stand against the offensive Chinese mother-in-law due to some cultural differences.

Here's been the entire issue that I think can pretty true:

1.) Not living with the mother-in-law is pretty much better.

Fine. Really fine. So the husband and wife are living on their own. The pride of the Chinese mother-in-law is SO HIGH really she would do anything to ruin her son's married life with his non-Chinese wife especially if she's American. But a thought on that, it's definitely never appropriate to call the Chinese mother-in-law as "ma'am" if they just are always being pricky, cruel, petty, always getting angry. So yeah, don't even let the mother-in-law live in the same house. That way, it can be easier to be friends with her in the future. But as said, even the most submissive persons must learn to fight back and two, submissiveness is a virtue that is taught by example, not by words. And should the Chinese mother-in-law try to visit and sleep at the home of her son, it might work to let her sleep in the closet so she'll never want to return to pester the happy family or two, call the cops should she be harassment. Ho-hum.

2.) Just another thought - the most offensive mothers-in-law are usually Chinese.

Sad but true. I had my thought that watching the Joy Luck Club. The American mother-in-law seems tamer than the Chinese mother-in-law. They're probably more practical as to never allow their daughters-in-law to live under the same roof as they do as a method to prevent conflict. However the problem in a traditional Chinese household is the extended family and the hypocrisy they play. They are kind to their grandchildren but can be very overbearing to their daughters-in-law.

3.) Let the children learn to swallow more Hershey's than other people's misery, to eat more delicious gourmet than bitterness than to force them to swallow other people's misery and to eat from their own bitterness.

That way people submit to each other lovingly and not out of fear. However, it's important not to give in to gimmes and not to make them take responsibility. It's also very important to teach submissiveness to both genders without being stupid.

Comments

  1. I recon you are Japanese and wonder if you just translate your thoughts from Japanese to English, because the language you use sounds funny. Please, do us all a favor and work on improving your English grammar and structure, if you choose to write your posts in English. It's hard to understand your writing as your post is riddled with all kind of errors, including lack of proper punctuation. Have you not heard of commas? Also, you keep repeating yourself, going in circles about the same points.

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