So She Wasn't Even Miss Right?

Looking again at the fact that my first crush was somebody else and I was afraid to even admit it to myself, let's just face it.  Everything about that "first crush" issue was that, I was in love with somebody else.  So pretty much, I spent much useless energy over nothing.  Also, if it was really true love, I would have not been shocked at her rather unattractive appearance and would have just accepted it. So I'm as always, fickle.  Besides what right do I have to complain about some bad women if I were just as bad myself?


Meanwhile, I was pretty shocked to find out that my first crush is still status "single".  Hmmm is she Miss Right?  I just can't assume at all.  And also...


Same goes for material girls I've landed on for twice or more than twice.  One was a really mean bitch witch and the other was well, too trendy for my taste.  I thought trendy girls aren't going to be my type.  I'm not the type to overspend.  One of my potential partners in the past was always spend, spend and spend which for me is not good just for any gender to be spend, spend and spend.  For one of these material girls, I was only carved in to pressure, the second was more of liking her at my own will.


Meanwhile I cannot forget the time I was chasing after two girls at once. My ex-girlfriend who dated me for a year and the other, some cute and nutty girl who was disgusted about me trying to lump her with other girls.  It was me trying to "get revenge" on my so-called "first crush" when I thought she "slept" with my best friend when that never happened.  For these two girls, I enjoyed the nutty girl better even if she's no looker.


As for that Pamela Anderson lookalike, well I don't know if she's Miss Right considering the fact I'm pretty much fickle with girls and two, I tend to only look at the physical for some time.  I just had my thoughts I hope I'm close to Miss Right!