Satirical News: Energy Secretary Pestiha Proposes to No Electricity Operating Nationwide for a Month!

As if Energy Secretary Jericho Pestiha could not get any dumber, after ordering people not to use even electric fans during warm weather, he now encouraged for a one month energy blackout to solve the energy crisis.  According to him it will help "save power" and make the Philippines a model nation.  In his new model to save the economy, he proposes that the Philippines should have a one month blackout, all power companies should shut down and everyone should go back to "stone age" to save electricity.  He also mentioned that this would be the solution to any possible power crisis.

However at the hearing, Miriam Defensor Santiago had lost her temper yet again.  In fact, she called him "GAGO" too many times not caring for courtesy.  She said, "Man this guy is even dumber than the prosecutors that I have inflamed during the Corona impeachment trial.  Wah!  I wonder how this gago of an energy secretary is even the energy secretary.  His professors should have failed him.  If you ask me, one month blackout nationwide will create a crisis in this modern age!  How are we going to do our newer operations without electricity?  My goodness his neurons aren't working!  This time the word gago will not be struck off the records for this guy!  Record in the Senate journal that I said Pestiha is gago!"

The fight between Jericho Pestiha and Miriam Defensor Santiago escalated to a whole new level.  After that, Jericho Pestiha wanted to call for Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. for a lawyer, but refused saying that the proposal is too stupid.  Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. simply closed the conversation refusing to cover his ears further, saying this time that Miriam is right to fight Pestiha.  The fight lasted for hours which Miriam Defensor Santiago did not only charge Jericho Pestiha with contempt of court, but also with contempt against the Filipino people.  She said, "I hereby charge Jericho Pestiha with major contempt of court and against the Filipino people with his proposal for a one month nationwide blackout!"

Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. asked why he refused to side with Pestiha he said, "What he is proposing is more incorrigible than the time Miriam scolded us prosecutors.  I mean, at this point he has no more dignity to respect if he thinks that the Philippines can survive his proposal.  I can only suggest to the Senate that Pestiha should be detained in a dark room for a week or so, forced to listen to not just Miriam's tirades but the complaints of people everywhere.  I mean, if people demand basic needs, electricity is a basic need.  He should face the music with that kind of decision.  Maybe this time, the Senate should not strike gago off the records."

Miriam Defensor Santiago was later taken to the clinic due to hypertension.  Then she said, "If there is any appropriate punishment for Pestiha I propose that he must be locked up in a dark room with no lighting, no modern technology, no electricity, whatever for a whole month!  Let's see if he will still push through with his stupid plan!"


  1. I guess here goes the "Filipinos are resilient" adage being abused once again...


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