Satirical News: The Slip Quit Now Sold in the Philippines!

Slip Quit
After the Steven Slater incident last 2010, demands for the new product called the Slip Quit were made.  Now American companies after hearing how many Pinoys hailed Steven Slater as a hero, decided to sell the Slip Quit in the Philippines.  Steven Slater went to the Philippines to advertise the product and show it is being used.

"I can feel and sympathize with the Filipino people.  I am glad for people who treated me as a hero.  There is no way that I am not a hero.  I did what had to be done and there is so much injustice.  Now we just have the new product called the Slip Quit.  It is too bad I was not able to sell this product to Atty. Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. who was seen worldwide covering his ears.  With this product, you can slip away from the scenarios.  Use it on stairs, car doors and wheel chair ramps to slide your way to freedom.  With the pork barrel trials going on, I feel the need to sell the Slip Quit to save people!" said Steven Slater.

The Aguirre and Aguirre Law Firm became a distributor of the Slip Quit.  Prosecutors who may soon receive a future berating from Miriam Defensor Santiago for incompetence bought the Slip Quit worth PHP 20,000.  Moreover, some teenagers and College students were willing to pay that high amount of money because they might meet "terror teachers" in College.

Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. said, "Well with this Slip Quit, those prosecutors who cannot stand the berating of that woman can just slip this on, use it on the stairs of the Senate Building and slide away.  After all, it's not right for a judge to lecture a lawyer.  Sad to say but Miriam Defensor Santiago is the Philippines' very own Judge Marilyn Milian!  That's why I quit!  I just can't handle her excessive nagging!  And I salute Bob Palalino for standing up against that terror judge, Marilyn Milian."

Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. stated that he is willing that the product will not just be sold at Aguirre and Aguirre Law Firm but in every department store as well.