All I can say is that it's was more than about time to let it go. I wasted much of my time crying and realizing that I was lying to myself about my "one true love". Why didn't I even bang my keyboard when I realized she was engaged and now married? It was obvious that it was a huge lie or two, I have moved on from her. Also, I hate to admit that so much for all my fancy statements. While I said, "I'll never love another no matter what.", I was scared to look at her homely appearance the last time we met proving I was lying.
I could still remember it seared into my head when my so-called former best friend claimed her. I hated him for it. He claimed he had her and all. Later on, he still continued to claim the same claim for some reason. Worse, he nudged on my head on the issue of my real first crush. I just hated it when my denial for the other girl and me wanting my so-called first crush was revealed. Reasons were obvious... it was all bordered on money. But why did I cry tears over her? It can't be explained but maybe, I was trying to convince myself I still loved her or to gain sympathy. But I never cried in tears over her in private. I'll confess, it was all a show.
The more I admit the truth about my so-called first crush, the more I feel I'm ready to move on. On the other hand, am I ready for a genuinely healthy relationship or not?