Satirical News: President Nobita Gets Butthurt Christmas Letter From Santa Claus!

President Nobita reads the letter from Santa Claus

President Nobita after declaring persona non-grata on Santa Claus got a letter along with a truck full of coal.  It was a reminder to him he was always naughty.  Santa Claus wrote the letter translated by a Filipino elf.  For the sake of non-Tagalog speakers, the letter was translated into English.  It said:

Dear President Nobita,

I offer you no apologies because you were always a naughty boy and until now, you still are so this time I leave you a truck full of coal to remind you to straighten up your act.  I cannot help but not ignore the pleas of every Filipino who wants a transparent government so I gave them copies of my naughty and nice list.  Your administration has always been lousy.  True Gloria Abobo was also in the naughty list during her administration but this year, she has made it to the nice list.  She has accidentally exposed you for the naughty boy you really are.  You should stop blaming her for your mistakes and face your problems like a real man.

You are always declaring persona non-grata on people who offend you.  I cannot forget the time that your predecessor Sherap Estrada declared it on Claire Danes because she mentioned how messy Imperial Manila was and still is messy.  Good thing I can travel around the world in just one night during Christmas Eve, not having to stay too long but even so, I can smell the stench.  Your attitude of declaring persona non-grata and making the anti-cybercrime law shows you are a whiny crybaby who hasn't grown up.

Now you even say you are always talking to your parents.  Do you not remember what your mom said?  Although I find it bad your late mother didn't remove the 60/40 from the 1972 Constitution, you could have removed it.  Instead, you are too much of a mama's boy not to correct the mistake of your mother.  If your father was alive, he might slam your head on the desk.  You don't even do anything about the Hacienda Luisita cases just because they are your relatives.  

You should open up the economy.  Allow high joint venture packages and allow 100% ownership.  Many Filipinos have no jobs, no thanks to you and the economic protectionist policy.  Many Overseas Filipinos want to be home for Christmas and again, no thanks to you, they can't because of work overseas.  No offense really, all your movies are also pretty bad.  The cookies you people leave in Imperial Manila were all terrible.  Elves from the Philippines comment on how terrible they are.  Please straighten up your act and I might give you a reward next year.


Santa Claus

The letter itself was published by ABiaS-CBN.  President Nobita was last seen crying that his persona non-grata declaration on Santa Claus did not work.  Further details of President Nobita's reaction to the letter will be revealed.