I had my thoughts on my ex-girlfriend's engagement and congratulating her for her upcoming marriage, I remembered my difficult courtship only to split up with her... everything. And I thought of some troubles that were avoided by breaking up with her. So what was it? I escaped having parents-in-law who would suck out my cash. A dad who operates a sleaze club, a mom who's overly game... hmmmm... I had to figure out I should have given up on her much earlier.
I have to admit she dated me perhaps out of sympathy and convenience. She knew I was having trouble with the "campus queen" or "Lady Deathstrike", she wasn't even accepted by her suitor's mom. I guess it was all but sympathy and convenience. I guess she didn't love me either. Maybe she felt like she always needed a man (not good) and it became a relationship of convenience. It could have become a marriage of convenience that would land into a disaster. If we got married, things could happen for the worse like a custody battle for our child. We nearly had a one night stand that could have also led to a custody battle. So we agreed to split before anything can happen and remained friends, though we nearly rekindled our feelings. But in a way, we deserved each other.
Although it came she did try to encourage me to go after a woman who I have uneasy feelings for. To avoid any rekindling, she encouraged me to try and "move forward" with a real campus queen as opposed to the "campus queen" of our alma mater. The Haruka Suenaga lookalike had the looks that the other "campus queen" lacked. My ex-girlfriend thought that I would be able to truly move forward... try to give my new love interest, even encouraging me to move on. Yet in the middle of everything, my ex-girlfriend's suitor had returned to compete with me for the Haruka Suenaga lookalike's hand.
It brought me to the flashbacks when I had to compete with a suitor. I was lucky soon enough that the suitor's mom didn't like my ex-girlfriend so... I thought I finally got my chance. All the while, I only wanted my ex-girlfriend because I wanted revenge on my so-called first love. She just saw me soon enough, celebrating my so-called first love's birthday alone. I practically used my ex-girlfriend to get even, we literally hurt each other. Breaking up with my ex-girlfriend liberated her and me from using each other. It was all for the better at the same time, I had to let go of my past.
I remembered the words that rang into my head during the time I had a difficult courtship with her when she rejected me for her suitor, "This is just a stage you are passing through as a teenager. You feel like you are so sure but you aren't. Even if you two dated for awhile, you will realize that you will just forget her. It's best you wait because you may find someone better. Now's not the time while you are immature and fighting your hormones. Besides, there are other girls out there, why are you fixated with her? If you are burning with passion, it's lust. I guess you just think of her as a trophy to be gained than a person to like. Well, time will come when your fixation with her will be gone. Besides, I doubt it you are all too serious with her. I mean you are chasing her along other girls aren't you?"
I finally spilled the beans when I said, "You see, I was once in love with this girl who betrayed me for my best friend, my former best friend who continues to haunt me. If I can't get a girl to get even with her, I am a loser for life." What I soon ignored is that my former best friend didn't have my so-called first crush, she never became his and he lost interest in her. Later, I met up with my so-called first crush only to find myself horrified beyond belief. The same happened with the "campus queen", I was horrified with later on.
Lately, I met her dad in person again. It was really stupid how he showed his crude behavior again. Did he want me to rekindle my relationship to a woman I never loved? Or did he want revenge for using his daughter? Regardless, he was a far fetch from Yuuri's father in Timeranger. He was a sleazy guy. Again, I can't afford to have such relationships in my family tree just like that. Messy in-laws? Never mind. Besides, I realized the statements are still true to this very day. I realized I was never serious with her and I never loved her so no point in continuing or resuming the relationship. She has moved on and I hope I have moved on too.
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