Satirical News: Chinese Government To Donate Escalators To Certain Government Offices In Imperial Manila!

Chinese minister Wang Yi had decided that it was time for a peace offering or is it?  After the recent trail of tragedies caused by escalators provided by Shen Long Ltd., many suspect that this is a trap.  The recent news of China had suspended the use of elevators provided by Shen Long Ltd. because of the safety standards.

Wang said he has no intention of peace upon donating the elevators that were produced by Shen Long Ltd. to the Philippines.  He mentioned, "I knew those elevators were defective after the investigation so that's why I am donating them to the Philippines in certain government offices in Imperial Manila.  I have read all the rude generalizations that were made about Chinese.  Now I will show give them the taste of their own medicine when they will get elevators from Shen Long Ltd. and not from the non-Chinese manufacturers that produce their wares in China.  I want to teach them a lesson that they will never forget.  Unless President Nobita offers a formal apology then we will not stop our military activities near the Philippines.  Should Jejemon Bitay be the next Vice President, we will definitely launch an attack on Imperial Manila so we don't have to see them in the next APEC convention."

The plan was to donate the metal death trap escalators to the following government offices each stating a reason why:

  • To the Malacanang Palace, it was stated that the Chinese government wants to teach President Nobita Aquino and Vice President Jejemon Bitay a lesson they will never forget.
  • To the Department of Social Welfare and Development for supporting Chinese crooks and hiding them in the Philippines. 
  • To the Commission on Human Rights as a reminder that they are a bunch of broken people.  A note said that too bad Etta Rosales has resigned.
The Chinese military bases are currently awaiting command from China's government.  As the 2016 elections approach, the Chinese military is commanded to attack Imperial Manila should Jejemon Bitay or any Liberal Party candidate win the presidency.