Satirical News: Alan Impurisima Slammed Yet Again During Mamasapano Case Reopening

After the Mamasapano Massacre case that led to the deaths of the SAF-44 was reopened a year after the incident, resigned Philippine National Patola Chief Alan Impurisima was slammed yet again. Further investigation had shown that Impurisima has had several other cases that need to be answered. Based on investigation and the guilty plead of Getulio Napunas, Impurisima still has much to account for.

"Just because he crucified himself on Good Friday last year doesn't absolve his offenses. There have been too many complaints about Impurisima aside from the SAF-44 trial. I don't really care what he says in the court. An advice and an order are the same in terms of legality. He has violated chain of command. When you are suspended, you don't show up for work." said Senator Judge Miriam Defensor Santiago on the reopening of the case.

Napunas admitted, "During the time  of the Mamasapano clash, it was confirmed that President Nobita Aquino and Alan Impurisima were playing video games while giving out orders. It is only natural that while they were playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, they failed to do their real call of duty with their non-advanced warfare."

Other pictures showed how Impurisima was training his men. Instead of training them with actual guns as called by protocol, Impurisima had his men train for future missions by having them play Time Crisis inside the arcade. It was what he called, "Cost cutting training." which led to the further incompetence. Failure to give his policemen proper training since his appointment last 2010 by President Nobita Aquino has caused the Philippine police to dwindle in its performance.

"I am afraid but these people need to realize that playing a video game and actual warfare are too different. In a video game, you can reset all over again but you cannot do that in real life. What in the world was Impurisima thinking of training his men at the arcade?" said Santiago.

Stay tuned for further developments.