Satirical News: China Vows To Drop Spratlys Claims In Exchange That President Nobita And DOTC Secretary Pabaya Get Run Over By Chinese New Year!
In the midst of the conflict of China with the Philippines, Vietnam, Japan and Taiwan they have decided to give in one peaceful resolution. Many people who have grown paranoid with China due to the government's inaction in the Pacific Ocean, were partly relieved to hear the possibility of a "peaceful settlement" which will not require firearms. On the other hand, it will still require bloodshed where at least two people will be sacrificed to save the whole Philippines from total annihilation.
The reaction had created a series of mixed reactions. One who stood out was former Commission on Human Rights chairperson Etta Rosales to react yet again. She said, "How can China ask for such an unreasonable demand that they will withdraw their troops at the condition both President Nobita and DOTC Secretary Pabaya will be run over by a train? Don't forget that they had unjustly killed our three drug mules who didn't know that they were transporting drugs. I'm afraid but China jailing those human rights activists is a violation of the right to impunity. Yes I masterminded those Pinoy tourists who were members of Commission of Human Rights. I'm doing it to save our countrymen who are in death row in that inhuman, barbaric country."
President Nobita on the other hand decided to release a statement to President Xi. These words were translated into Chinese, "Your excellency President Xi Jinping. You don't want me and Pabaya to be run over by the train. If you want to know who's responsible for the conflict, it's not me. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo and Bongbong Marcos is who you want. It was Gloria who masterminded the Rolando Mendoza incident and lately, it was uncovered Bongbong also masterminded half of it. It should be them not me and Pabaya who should be run over by a train."
Stay tuned for further developments!