Satirical News: Gary Alejano Sells Fishballs To Finance Anti-China Army

Representative Gary Alejano was last seen selling fishballs to finance the Alejano Resistance Against China's Aggression (ARACA). He had last mentioned that funding ARACA -- his planned army to go against the Chinese military's aggression in the West Philippine Sea or South China Sea would require lots of money. President Rodrigo R. Duterte expressed his disapproval of fighting China head-on while Alejano called using the Hague to defeat China's aggression to be an "act of cowardice".

He was last seen selling fishballs which he hopes will help finance ARACA's cause. He was last spotted and he said, "Everybody loves fishballs. It will certainly finance ARACA in its need to buy plenty of naval ships. I am doing this to let people know that I don't need President Duterte's help to show him how to deal with the Chinese Army. After all, I have Filipino-Chinese in-laws which will help in defeating the huge Chinese army and chase them out of their unwanted territory in no time."

The joke fell on Rep. Alejano as he tried to sell fishballs to Taiwanese, Japanese and South Korean tourists. He tried to convince them to buy his fishballs so he too could help liberate their countries from China's military aggression. However, his fishball cart was tossed aside and nobody bothered to help finance ARACA.

Stay tuned for further details!