"Jingle All The Way" Is A Box Office Flop That Somehow Criticizes Stupidity During The Christmas Season

Ahhhh... the 1990s... the time when I was born. I could remember growing up with some stuff that I wanted and don't want now. I could remember how some toy stores have closed down like Gift Gate and Nova Fontana. Now, I want to think about the early 1990s. I could remember those simpler times may not be so simple after all. The movie Jingle All the Way seems to summarize it. I even remembered dreaming of making a video game out of the failed movie one way or another... FOR FUN. It was my crazy fantasy to create a fan game where the player controls Howard in his quest to get the Turbo Man. The line even has Jamie saying, "Anybody who doesn't have a Turbo Man will be a loser!" The chase goes on... right? It seems Jingle All the Way for a failed movie (that had a following similar to Santa Claus the Movie) really did a good job as a fictional movie.

Santa Claus The Movie did feature the perils of commercialism. Santa Claus was portrayed as a generous toymaker who loves children everywhere. Eventually, Santa Claus has doubts when BZ's commercialism came to success with the Puce Pop. The movie did have its stupid moments how would Patch even want to work for that Lex Luthor parody who makes dangerous toys? Teddy bears with broken glass and nails? You really need to do a concentrated effort! BZ later laid off everyone and made Patch his only worker. BZ always tried to profit from everyone - a contrast to Santa Claus' generosity. The movie was a failure but somehow became a classic. If Santa Claus in this movie were a real person - he'd actually be saying a lot of stuff he said. If Santa Claus in this movie came to Jingle All the Way - he'd probably write every child asking for a Turbo Man on the naughty list! Jamie might as well expect to land on Santa Claus' naughty list too if both movies existed in the same universe.

It seems the movie hit in the 1990s with a lot of stuff many wish they had... 

One thing I remembered was how cool it was to have what the other kids had. One of them was the release of the Super Famicom (or Super NES in the USA) and it was very coveted. There was even the problem of parents getting mad at Nintendo for it. It was the Nintendo-dependent families where children needed therapy over video game addiction. Who can deny that Super Mario World was the most coveted game and you needed an SNES to play it? The only time I was able to play it (truly, in form) was when there was the SNES Station fanmade bootleg game for the PS2. I could remember crying in some way. Then I remembered how I felt I'd never forgive my parents for not buying me a Super NES. I even felt so bad because a bully once said, "Do you even have a Super NES?" 

Watching Exceedraft's 14th episode had a child who was fretting over him not having a Super Famicom. The father went into absurd stunts to get the Super Famicom. I felt the family became a Broken Aesop when the child had a Super Famicom at the end while the father served his sentence. I felt the child should've not gotten a Super Famicom and realized family is more important. Maybe, give the child something better than a Super Famicom - friends like the Exceedraft trio. It reminded me of how I wanted a Super NES and hated my parents over it. Yeah, talk about Graydon Creed hating Mystique and Sabertooth not buying him a Super NES as a child so he founded the Friends of Humanity because of it!

It made me think of Myron's rather infamous lines. Sure, I could pity Myron for the stupidity his wife does. However, Myron thinks he could buy his child's affection with a Turbo Man is something. If only Myron heeded his words during the mall fight then he would've done something in his life. Later, Myron proved himself to be demented and that he deserved to wear the Dementor suit over the person he beat up. It's not only that Myron did kick a man in a Booster suit. It's also that Myron endangered a CHILD for a Turbo Man action figure. I doubt his son would be proud of his dad for the stupidity he did. Well, I felt almost a lot of people deserved jail time in the movie - even Howard. Didn't Howard pose as an undercover cop? The police bought it too easily. I guess they mistook Howard as the main protagonist in True Lies or any Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. The way Myron had his conspiracy mixed with truth may also be a reflection of Nintendo. If only Myron heeded things long ago and decided to find other healthy ways to bond with his off-screen son. Myron could've probably decided to get a Turbo Man after Christmas and he wouldn't have been arrested. 

Actually, I think one reason why I like Sinbad the Actor is because of how good he acts. This video has him discussing his role as Myron in a toy store. I could remember how it happened when Power Rangers became a thing. Haim Saban got permission, got the rights, and Toei Ltd. saw all the greed coming. I could imagine how Saban Entertainment and Toei Ltd. saw the dollar sign on their eyes seeing how Power Rangers was that potential cash cow. Hence, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers was born. Sinbad here also discusses the craze of Power Rangers and how the White Ranger action figure was coveted. I wanted one too as a child but I'm not going to buy one with my money now. Instead, I decided to buy some second-hand Kamen Rider toys instead on Shopee. Talk about absurd, right?

I could remember the commercial for Mighty Morphin' and its storyline. It was said, "too hot to handle". Parents were lining up in long lines to buy it. In a way, it reacted like morphine. Toei and Saban got the greed and that's why they both mutually agreed to film the Zyu2 footage one way or another. Toei tends to make greedy decisions a lot. I guess that's why Toei Ltd. chooses to keep up with Power Rangers as long as it remains feasible. Why Toei allowed most Power Rangers seasons to be pulled out of Netflix is something that kinda baffles me though. Sure, I don't like Power Rangers but was it a smart decision? Then again it seems Power Rangers isn't as feasible as it used to be. Back then, it was practically the Turbo Man before the Jingle All the Way movie came to be.

What would be interesting is how Turbo Man was practically reflecting on Power Rangers. I never had any idea that Billy was that unpopular. I confess he was my first favorite ranger. I may have ditched Power Rangers in favor of Super Sentai but that fact influences me. The film also shows Jamie and Johnny fighting over who'd be Booster. I guess Booster was meant to be a parody of Billy. There was a trend that sidekick characters tend to be treated unfairly. The Booster mascot was beaten up in the parade. Nobody wanted to be Robin and everyone wanted to be Batman. In my case, I felt ostracized when Billy was well, my first favorite character in Mighty Morphin'. I even wonder if my favorite Kyukyu Sentai GoGoFive character Nagare got the same treatment as Billy since both are technogeeks.

I couldn't help but think much more stuff was coming out. There was the Sega Saturn which I'm glad I never had. There was the Playstation 1 which was clearly overshadowing the Super NES and the Nintendo 64. We know the whole list can go on. Recently, the Playstation 5 has become the new Turbo Man. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home not caring about it due to how riding the craze is so stressful!

The bootlegging incident in the movie and the 1990s

I think one of my favorite scenes in the movie was the warehouse fight. If only Howard was intelligent enough to see something was wrong. It was too good to be true when the Mall Santa offered him a Turbo Man. I remembered getting a fake Super Mario World cartridge for the NES all because my parents didn't buy me a Super NES when the other kids had one. It was a totally dumb thing. There was the issue of piracy. JY Company made really bad Famicom knock-offs of advanced games. There was the fake Mortal Kombat game which even featured a SMALLER Shokan warrior. I must laugh at how stingy people may want to enjoy their misery with really poor products.

In the case of the warehouse - it's pretty much a reverse of real-life piracy. Pirated DVDs are sold much cheaper than the real deal. The Polystation (actually just a Famicom bootleg) isn't sold that expensive. In this case, Howard had to pay USD 300.00 for a FAKE TURBOMAN. I don't really blame Howard for getting into the fight or even pretending to be an undercover. The cops were stupid enough to believe him though since it's a comedy movie. The cops may have spent too much time watching Arnold movies that probably existed within the movie's continuity. I even want to pretend the Crooked Santas are all remnants of BZ back in 1985. BZ did sell DEFECTIVE toys at astronomical prices. The Crooked Santas deserve more than jail time for piracy. The Crooked Santas were a group of extortionists. I even wonder how much money Howard wasted throughout the film. 

We know how things went though with or without extortion. The Famicom had some bootleg games that made it to the mall. Yeah, I bought that fake Super Mario World cartridge in a mall of ALL PLACES instead of some bootleg shop downtown. An irony that a receipt was even given for it! the same went when pirated PS1 and PS2 games were abundant. Though, they were sold much cheaper so the manufacturers may not be charged with extortion. Some pirates will take advantage of the craze or something. Though JY Company really shot itself at the foot way too many times with their clunky games. It's like I don't miss playing their bootleg games. We may also think about bootleg toys which happened a lot. I remembered how malls ended up selling BOOTLEGS based on legitimate Bandai merchandise. They were really that annoying to look at. Heck, I even received a fake Power Rangers toy during an exchanging gift in the 1990s. Ugh, what a bad memory it was!

When Howard roasted the Santas and even beat them - I felt the words he said meant a lot. The Crooked Santas knew how to take advantage of the toy craze. I could even remember NOT LAUGHING when Howard discovered he was sold a broken Turbo Man toy (that spoke in Spanish). Howard was told not to open it. It was all a scam worth USD 300.00. Those Crooked Santas said they cared about children who open gifts to find out clothes instead of toys. Yeah, I remembered how I got mad at my father for buying me new clothes instead of toys back in the 1990s. It was also pretty much why I got over family visits. True, they never bought me the more pricey toys but they did at least give me good toys. 

The movie portrays stupidity almost to a T

I was thinking about it if Howard is truly a bad father. The beginning of the movie had him missing the office Christmas party because he got too focused on his job. Howard's secretary was reminding him of Jamie's karate graduation. What really came into my head was how the Christmas season may be the most stressful season. I guess Howard himself is a mattress salesman who's said to have the bad habit of failing to balance his work and family. However, knowing it's Christmas (and mattresses are something I expect to give and receive), the mattress sales were probably that high. Probably, Howard missed the office Christmas party for a good reason. Apparently, Howard knows the mattress sales were high. Christmas is a time of good income but also a time of REALLY BAD TRAFFIC.

I felt that Howard had a good reason to fret TBH. Maybe, I can't excuse his forgetfulness but I can understand (and pity) him in a way. Howard had to complete the mattress sales to make sure every last mattress is accounted for. It's very easy to get occupied with work during the Christmas season. You have inventory to check. If the toy store must get that hot toy on demand - it should be ready for it! I wonder if the mall management in the movie were all incompetent for not stocking enough Turbo Man toys. Though, for Howard, he had every right to scold Jamie about the Turbo Man obsession. It's like how parents in the 1990s felt that pressure when the Super NES came out and it was worsened by Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Then we know how Saban's Masked Rider became the Booster and a failed TV show. 

I felt Howard had a good reason to miss the karate graduation too. It's all because of the traffic AND the season. Howard should stop making promises he can't keep. However, as said, Christmas is really stressful and I believe Howard's job is too. Howard getting his head to finish Christmas orders is one thing. Another is that Jamie isn't given the faintest clue of the value of work either. Though, I must wonder why Liz never decided to buy the Turbo Man toy weeks ago either. Yeah, I feel Howard had his own fair share of the blame. Still, Howard punching that cardboard Turbo Man was probably just understandable. It's almost like the parents who complained about their children demanding a Super NES then along with many popular games. Right now, I'm just glad I was able to play Super Mario World and beat the game as an adult. It somehow made me happier than like the cool kids whose parents are spineless. 

I feel Jamie's obsession with Turbo Man was at unhealthy levels. One of the reasons why Christmas can suck is because of children. Children will the bragging about what they got during the break. I remembered how we all bragged. I remembered how peer pressure was the thing. One could brag about the White Ranger toy. One could brag about getting a new console. I envied a former friend of mine whose mother and older siblings kept doting him with new toys. He wanted this? He got it. Well, my parents said to never envy him. I did remember how I almost never forgave my father over a Super NES. Just hearing the lines of Myron that he never forgave his father over a Johnny 7 OMA may be the reason why he's stuck with his bad job. I feel Jamie himself will have no one but himself to blame if he becomes what Howard fears. Though Howard does need to balance time with family and the Turbo Man will become a non-issue. Children need more time with their parents than the toys that the other kids have. Yeah, the cool kids are so annoying. 

I felt Howard should've said, "Well, I should spend more time with you." instead of promising that Turbo Man. What Jamie needs is more time with his father Howard and not a Turbo Man. Jamie ends up learning that lesson when Howard becomes Turbo Man during that rather funny parade scene. It somehow parodies how children can't tell special effects from real life. In this case, I doubt I'd see a real parade where somebody flies with a jetpack. Heck, Myron even got amazed that the Dementor suit carried a ROCKET PUNCH with it. Myron could've used that rocket punch on the policemen or whatever powers that suit had. The credits though showed Liz asking what Howard got for her. I mean, Liz ended up breaking the Aesop up without realizing that she should be happy that Howard is spending Christmas with them instead of asking for her present.