Satirical News: Sarah Jane Elgago Receives Gifts From The Chinese Communist Party

 

Many CPP-NPA legal fronts continue to deny their links to the late Joma Sison. Yesterday was the birthday of former congresswoman, Sarah Jane Elgago. The Kayabangan Partylist greeted her with a happy birthday. What soon happened was a leaked shot of Elgago getting a birthday cake and an Eagle pistol. 

Later investigation revealed that the cake and pistol came from the Chinese Embassy. What was also confirmed was that the Chinese Communist Party gave Elgago money worth CNY 100,000. Elgago denied the allegations. The photo of Elgago receiving a cake and holding the gun went viral.

Chinese Emperor Xi Jinping sent a message, "生日快乐 Sarah Elgago" which translates into "Happy Birthday Sarah Elgago." A note from the CCP was given. Investigations towards national security will be done. According to Elgago, the Chinese government and the NTF-ELCAC have agreed to frame her. People still question why she seemed so enthusiastic holding her brand-new gun. Reports of delicious Chinese food sent to Kayabangan Partylist HQ are now even more viral. Photos of Kayabangan Partylist members eating Beijing-style food went viral as well.

It was already said that the Kayabangan Partylist might have joined forces with the Chinese Communist Youth League. The Armed Forces of the Philippines would conduct a thorough investigation not just on Elgago but also on other Kabataan Partylist members. It is also said Rep. Raoul Manuel is secretly taking a mathematics master's degree at the Peking University.

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