Satirical News: Leaked Picture Reveal Alice Guo's Connections To Kabataan Partylist


After the arrest of Alice Guo aka Guo Hua Ping -- new information was leaked online. Intelligence from Indonesia and the Philippines reveals that Alice may have been part of Kabataan Partylist. Kabataan Partylist got into hot water when its former member Sarah Jane I. Elgago (now with Gagabriela) received presents from Emperor Xi Jinping. More items were dug revealing that Kabataaan Partylist had a connection with Guo herself. It turns out that Guo grew up in the Philippines but was born in China. 

"There's no doubt that the girl in the photos is Alice Guo with Teacher Rubilyn." said one of the NBI agents. More information was found as Alice was put into custody at Camp Crame. It turned out that Alice was secretly financing Kabataan Partylist. Messages from Xi and the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) Empire were translated into English. It turns out that Alice was also responsible for giving Elgago several lavish birthday parties. It also turns out Alice financed Rep. Raoulol Manuel's campaign as a representative. It was also spotted that Guo was among those who spent money on Kabataan Partylist's rallies and expensive dinners. 

"I believe that the death of Joma Sison caused this new shift in power. As the investigation goes on -- it seems that Kabataan Partylist may be playing it safe. Why would Guo need all those accounts? It sounds really fishy. Some transactions actually deposited money to the accounts of Kabataan Partylist, Raoulol Manuel, and Sarah Jane Elgago. Gagabriela's Arlene Boborosas is said to be getting money from Guo herself. It seems all the protests against China were but a diversion -- to hide the new CPP-NPA alliance with the CCP Empire." said another investigator. 

Late accounting reveals Guo helped in gathering Elgago's handbag collection and expensive clothes. The money trail revealed that Guo was also tasked with handling CCP funds. Part of the CCP funds handling included the Desert Eagle gun that Elgago received on her birthday last 2023. Later pictures reveal that Guo personally handed the Desert Eagle gun to Elgago. It was shown that Guo also helped Elgago get an iPhone X a few years back. All the bills were traced back either to Guo or the CCP Empire. 

Allegedly, Kabataan Partylist may have misappropriated funds from Bamban, Tarlac, for their own personal enjoyment. The CCP may have been sending them money after all. More importantly, Elgago was last seen having a check-up at the Patrick Star Hospital. Elgago denied being connected to Guo. 

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