Satirical News: Neri Cuckonares Submits "New Filipino Heroes Bill"

Neri Cuckonares of Bobo Muna after he wrote the "Respect For Filipino Time" bill decided to file a new bill called "New Filipino Heroes" bill which he believes would strengthen Filipino nationalism.  Due to the current battle between the Philippines and China over Spratlys, Cuckonares filed the "New Filipino Heroes" bill as hopeful retaliation.

Based on the new bill written by Rep. Cuckonares, the following provisions were written:

  • Due to the row with China and that they have executed Sally Villanueva, Elizabeth Batain and Ramon Credo who were framed up by Chinese syndicates, that their innocence was not respected... the Philippines will declare them as national heroes for the country.
  • In respect of Edz Ello's case in Singapore, Flor Contemplacion will be declared a heroine for the Philippines as a symbol against tyranny and oppression.
  • Any Filipino hero with Chinese blood will be removed from the list of heroes.  
  • For any Filipino who got executed abroad, a state burial will be given to them by the government.

Rep. Cuckonares said, "I am afraid that the Philippines has been too oppressed by China for too long.  I believe we really need an ethnic cleansing for the Filipino blood, to maintain our racial purity.  For too long, the mixture of foreign blood has been the reason why the Philippines cannot progress and not because of protectionism that we so adhere to.  With this new bill, I hope we can start a new Filipino revolution to prove we are the greatest in the world."

Migraine International Chairman Garry Martinez said, "China has harassed us for too long.  By raising a monument for the three unsuspecting drug mules, we will show them that we Filipinos will prevail against China."  He also showed an ideal sketch of the monument that will be raised somewhere in Metro Manila, no specific location has been known but they are planning to raise it to show China that they will not be bullied.

Hypocritically, Rep. Cuckonares and Migraine International Chairman Martinez were seen eating at Peking Garden at the end of the day.  The video became viral that they were laughed at by everyone.