Satirical News: DOH Confirms The Birth Of PAB-COVID-19 From Jover Laurio's Body


Jover Laurio was released from the Patrick Star Hospital yesterday. She was still able to blog from the hospital as she had a laptop available to her. She was last seen visited by Vice President Leni Loud Robredo. It turned that the COVID-19's ability to mutate into new strains had mutated into another strain. The virus was last seen to have mutated into two different strains from the bodies of Nobita Aquino and Antonio Trillanes IV. Confirmation that both Aquino and Trillanes ate bat soup in Wuhan went viral. Authorities from Makati Medical Center released a document that revealed both Aquino and Trillanes did indeed get COVID-19 and lived to tell about it.

Dr. Beverly Lorraine C. Ho together with the staff of Patrick Star Hospital admitted that a third strain was born. Laurio caught Trillanes-COVID-19 and was admitted last April 23, 2020. Trillanes-COVID-19 is described to be even more contagious than its other counterpart Noy-COVID-19. The Trillanes-COVID-19 infection in Laurio's body further mutated into an entirely new strain. The disease is just as airborne but has the potential to be even more airborne. The Department of Health (DOH) had confirmed that a new strain of COVID-19 was born. They have called it the PAB-COVID-19. PAB is the acronym for Pinoy Ako Blog.

Recent tests have shown that PAB-COVID-19 shares the same symptoms as Trillanes-COVID-19. However, the major difference is that PAB-COVID-19 will make its victims prone to begging for money, playing the victim, and unhealthy eating. People who caught PAB-COVID-19 have turned even the most hardworking people lethargic, self-entitled, and eating unhealthy. Some health-conscious individuals who caught PAB-COVID-19 find themselves indulging in unhealthy food. One victim (who wished to remain anonymous) of PAB-COVID-19 finds himself craving for lots of fatty food when he was a health-conscious individual. Sufferers of PAB-COVID-19 had to be given intravenous nourishment and other treatments to suppress their appetite for unhealthy food.

Meanwhile, Laurio expressed her desire to sue the DOH for calling the new strain as PAB-COVID-19. She was last seen badmouthing people. However, she got one millon hate comments saying that the new strain was rightfully named after her. Laurio found herself trying to isolate herself after she recovered from Trillanes-COVID-19.

Stay tuned for further updates!

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