The Chinese Song "Awaken From A Dream" (Meng Xing Shi Fen)

Here's a song that gave me an earworm wondering what the title was for years. Fortunately, there's some technology that helps us find an OLD SCHOOL song. Google voice search is amazing. This song is called "Awaken from a Dream" by Sarah Chen - also the same song that launched her career and kept her popular even after her retirement. I could remember how I heard this song in Chinese restaurants more often than not. Granted, I grew up in the Philippines so Chinese isn't my first-hand language. I didn't even get interested in learning Mandarin (because I was obsessed with the American-Japanese superiority mentality while disliking Power Rangers which was a collaboration of two sides) until Meteor Garden aired in the Philippines. 

Here's the English translation of the lyrics from Lyrics Translate:

You say that you loved someone whom you shouldn't have,
Your heart is filled with scars
You say that you made a mistake that you shouldn't have,
Your heart is filled with remorse.
 
You say you've experienced all of life's sufferings,
You cannot find someone whom you can trust,
You say you feel extremely frustrated,
You even began to doubt life.
 
You already knew that sorrow was inevitable,
So why bother to be so passionately fond of someone else?
Because love is always so devoted,
Why care about that little bit of gentleness?
 
You should know that sorrow is always inevitable,
In every awakening from a dream,
There are some things you don't have to ask right now,
There are some people you never have to wait for.
 
You say that you loved someone whom you shouldn't have,
Your heart is filled with scars
You say that you made a mistake that you shouldn't have,
Your heart is filled with remorse.
 
You say you've experienced all of life's sufferings,
You cannot find someone whom you can trust,
You say you feel extremely frustrated,
You even began to doubt life.
 
You already knew that sorrow was inevitable,
So why bother to be so passionately fond of someone else?
Because love is always so devoted,
Why care about that little bit of gentleness?
 
You should know that sorrow is always inevitable,
In every awakening from a dream,
There are some things you don't have to ask right now,
There are some people you never have to wait for.

Sometimes, hearing the song all over again (and knowing what it means) can make me feel the greatest regret I may have (or not). That's with the high school crush (who looks like Shin Hye Sun) I took too seriously. Why does she come to my mind when I hear this song? It's because I heard the song sung by her in a singing contest. The girl was pretty much tone-deaf yet she still entered those contests. She sang in a way that reminds me of Ako's episode in Chojin Sentai Jetman where her voice got stolen. Ako sang pretty much out-of-tune so what in the world was Toshiki Inoue thinking of turning Ako into an idol singer?! Shin Hye Sun doesn't have the talent for singing either and seems to be that lady you'd consider the class nerd and that unattractive girl I'm willing to marry. The girl herself is that class nerd herself who I stubbornly courted while we were teenagers. Her reasonably strict mom could've put me into serious trouble. For me, it was pretty much what if Gai Yuki went after Ako instead of Kaori. She loved blue a lot too which made the situation awkward. 

The song's lyrics somewhat summarize my feelings for the past and present. In high school and college, there were some girls. My heart was full of scars and regret. Yet, I think that if it wasn't for my crush on this Hye Sun-lookalike then I think I would've quit school already. It was because I wanted her that I started to do that Beast did for Belle (in a way) - straighten up and CONTROL MY TEMPER. I still felt inferior to her due to her intelligence. I still felt she was the "perfect woman" and I'm that "really imperfect man" never mind I've listed some of her flaws such as that out-of-tune voice or that she was kinda eccentric. My heart was full of scars from the incident. I doubted life because of her. That was until I started meeting other really pretty girls and she isn't attractive. Though, I was also having an on-off fling with a plain-looking woman who looks like Bea Saw-Tan from Pinoy Big Brother. So, she started to be pushed into the background as a result. 

Right now, I still feel like that maybe, I should be thankful that while I never got her in the end - that short-term crush in high school motivated me to do better and finish the course even if I barely made it. The song somewhat still reflects that I should expect sorrow and happiness at the time. The scars in the heart serve as a lesson for me. For me, the song can be a good lesson.