Satirical News: CHR Vice Chairman Filipo D. Hippo Assigned To Defend Jim Parada's Human Rights

CHR Vice Chairman Filipo D. Hippo who was known to have sued Lucio Tan over his missed flight and lost it now prepares to defend Jim Parada's case of harassment at EDSA. Parada caused trouble to some Duterte Youth during the EDSA Revolution now lost it. CHR Vice Chairman Hippo was now tasked by CHR Chairperson Chito Gascon to take care of the case. A new press conference was held called "Defend Jim Parada" which also carried signs saying "Laban Leila".

CHR Chairman Chito Gascon with CHR Vice Chairman Hippo both played the video during the conference. Along with them were Etta Rosales and CHR Employee Kasindak Puslit. The video of Parada heckling the Duterte Youth was called as "perfectly justified" by Hippo. He said, "I may not be the head of the Commission on Human Rights but what Parada is doing is perfectly justified. He's just playing the concerned Filipino. Like it or not the arrest of Senator Dilemma and the ousting of some Liberal Party members is the beginning of martial law." An opening mass was held and officiated by CBCP President Socrates Villegas who would begin a Walk For Parada crusade. The mass was supposed to start at 8:00 A.M. but started at 9:00 A.M. which caused lower attendance. Some supporters of Parada walked out and decided not to support him. 

Justice Secretary Vitaliano N. Aguirre Jr. would not let this stand by. He held another press conference with PNP Chief Bato Dela Rosa. Justice Secretary Aguirre said, "I believe that this case to defend Jim Parada may be another attempt to prevent us from giving justice to SAF-44 and the investigation of #LeniLeaks and #LoidaLeaks.

Loida Nicolas Lewis also made her comment on CNN International where she said, "Filipinos should now name EDSA as Jim Parada Avenue because he is the voice of EDSA. Ninoy Aquino International Airport must now be renamed as Noynoy Aquino International Airport. Hippo himself is a competent human rights defender and can run the Philippines' fight for democracy. You must also free Senator Leila Dilemma as soon as possible."

The fight rages on. This time, Justice Secretary Aguirre has sided with the Duterte Youth saying, "I am siding with the Duterte youth. I don't care what Parada says but what he did is a serious violation of human dignity. I don't care how great he thinks he is but if he's got that kind of attitude then he's nothing." The Duterte Youth suing Parada posed with the Justice Secretary covering their ears to protest against Parada's rants and Lewis' rants. The Justice Secretary vowed to bring Parada down with whatever evidence he could. He said, "Parada, see you in jail."

Hippo then replied to Justice Secretary Aguirre, "Justice Secretary I pleaded you for my case twice but you decided to antagonize me. This time I'm bringing you down and you'll be the one in jail. I will defend Parada's human rights and we have the best lawyer possible." Whether or not losing lawyer Antonio Tinio will join the fray remains to be seen.

Justice Secretary Aguirre said, "I remain confident in this case. We have already prepared the #LeniLeaks and #LoidaLeaks. Part of the leaks reveals conversation between American ex-pat in Tondo, Blob Blabbersky and Mrs. Lewis with Hippo were revealed. Blabbersky moved to the Philippines last 2014 but got quickly deported at the end of the year. Blabbersky was revealed to be another minion of Mrs. Lewis and is still currently in America trolling members of Get Real Philippines and other cultural change groups. Get Real Philippines' group should just kick out that joke of a swine before he feeds more nonsense. I must attend to my case with the Duterte Youth and make sure Hippo and Parada will get served."

Stay tuned for further updates.