Satirical News: Habitually Tardy Pinoy Named Filipo D. Hippo Sues Philippine Airlines For Missed Flight to Boracay!
Filipo D. Hippo a habitually tardy Pinoy missed his flight to Boracay. He last booked his ticket to Boracay where he did a last minute booking just a few minutes before the travel agency closed. He was told that the plane would leave by 8:00 A.M. and that he had to be on time, to arrive at 6:00 A.M., two hours before the flight. However Hippo only replied, "Time will wait for me! I am never late!"
He arrived at the airport not just an hour late, but two hours late where the plane had already flown off. According to PAL employees, the reaction of Hippo was priceless. Hippo screamed at them for not respecting Filipino Time and said that he was Father Time's VIP. It only resulted to utmost uproar of laughter from the employees of PAL. One of them said, "You see, time waits for nobody Filipo D. Hippo. We can't let the plane stop just for you! The other customers have to be served as well, what makes you think you are so important?"
Angry with his so-called predicament, he approached the Commission on Human Rights. Resigned chairperson Etta Rosales said, "Wow! The poor lad was a victim of the violation of human rights. I can't believe Lucio Tan himself doesn't respect Filipino time! They should have waited for the poor lad who wanted to party in Boracay but instead, the plane decided to leave him. What's an hour late anyway if the plane will fly at 9:00 A.M. instead of the 8:00 P.M. schedule? Don't worry, CHR will help Filipo D. Hippo sue Philippine Airlines!" The task was originally given to Atty. Vitaliano Aguirre Jr. but he refused calling it a severe waste of one's time.
Rep. Neri Cuckonares who previously wrote the "Respect For Filipino Time Bill" now has decided to modify the bill after the incident with PAL. He said, "Due to the complaints of the latest victim, Filipo D. Hippo, I have already decided that the new law must punish also the transport industry. They too must respect Filipino time. It would be best to send to Mr. Lucio Tan a penalty draft, requesting him to reimburse Filipo with the exact cost of the ticket for the missed flight. We must continue to fight for the respect for Filipino Time Bill. At this point, I really request Lucio Tan should not only pay Filipo the exact cost of the booking but also... he must agree to take Filipo to Boracay for free and spend for accommodation and everything Filipo wanted to do there. Those Filipino-Chinese businessmen are already mistreating our country by going against Filipino time. Note that Lucio Tan was born in China, not in the Philippines."
However Lucio Tan only commented while he was seen eating pizza saying, "Sigh... only if people knew how poor I was in the past. I was just a janitor in a tobacco factory before I got my degree at Fareastern University as a chemical engineer. If I always showed up late for my work as a janitor and for my classes at Fareastern University, I would have not finished my degree. I will refuse to reimburse Filipo D. Hippo for his blunder. Who in the world does he think he is? I am not going to pay for the penalties that are given by the Commission on Human Rights. He missed the flight, it's his fault. I am not reimbursing it. Go ahead and try to sue me Filipo D. Hippo, I will win my case!"
On the side of Hippo, the Commission on Human Rights had already assigned to him a lawyer namely Atty. Antonio Tinio of ACT Teacher's Party List. Hippo said in an interview, "I salute the Commission on Human Rights for supporting my rights to be Father Time's VIP. I will make sure Lucio Tan reimburses me justly. With a lawyer like Tinio, I am sure to win my case! He's an expert in social justice and he will help me win this case! Lucio Tan will have to reimburse me and pay for my expenses in Boracay. Bwahahahahahaha!"
Tan can only be seen laughing off the case. What was last seen was that he had already prepared the best lawyers around to win his case against Hippo. Worse, he had already decided to request the Senate to getting one person to be the judge for their case will be MIRIAM DEFENSOR SANTIAGO!