Saturday, July 26, 2014

Satirical News:Kill Henares Vows to Give Tax Discounts To Those Who Bought High Priced No Direction Tickets!


No Direction band member Kill Henares vows to give tax discounts for all those who bought the No Direction tickets rating from diamond to VIP tickets.  As the No Direction concert on July 28, 2014 is nearing, Kill Henares offers a new bonus for No Direction.  The proposal was approved by President Nobita to increase the popularity ratings of No Direction in the Philippines.  Others who approved where her fellow band members Money Villar, Pink Lacson and Doraemar Roxas.

She said, "By buying the tickets of One Direction, you are supporting the Original Pinoy Music industry.  We of No Direction will guarantee that we have recorded the names of all those who bought the diamond and VIP tickets to get a tax discount.  We will give 30% less on taxes for Diamond ticket buyers and 40% less for VIP ticket buyers."

Atty. Viraliano Aguirre said, "This is a victory for the Nobita Liberal Party.  When you open yourself to the Pwede Na Yan culture, you will see your life is better off with it than without it.  I believe it's only justifiable for our fellow No Directioners to be given a tax discount.  You are so great Kill Henares."  Atty. Aguirre was entrusted by Kill Henares to mark the discount stamps on the No Direction tickets.

Kill Henares said, "Well remember keep your tickets and it should have this BIR discount mark.  When you watch our concert, we will validate your tickets.  This will grant the viewer the tax discounts for the next quarter."

No Directioners are now seen sleeping at the Quirino Grandstand, as they cannot wait for the big day of No Direction's first concert.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

President Nobita Should STOP Treating The Philippine Presidency Like a Computer Game!

Looking at this picture of President Nobita playing computer games (and acting like a kid while at it), makes me think he's really treating the administration as if it were a computer game.  What he may want to remember is the huge difference between the world of fiction and video games.

I have played through some historical simulation series, my first being Romance of the Three Kingdoms X for the PS2.  The player could create his own character or play as any character, change historical events and so on... but this is real life.  In the real life, President Nobita cannot simply hit the reset button when he's made a mistake... mistakes happen forever compared to video games where you can always choose to push the reset button.  After he refused to apologize to China, he could not go back to that date and poof, change settings.  Real life is not a historical simulation series.

Besides common sense should tell us that if you crash a lot in any racing games like Grand Theft Auto, your player loses but you are still safe seated on your chair.  However in real life, do get reckless and your car gets crashed, you yourself might suffer a serious injury or lose your life.  What President Nobita needs is a reality check.  While I am a video gamer myself (the casual one since I don't join in tournament circuit boards), I did need reality checks and perhaps, it's his time too.  He needs to check himself if he's back to reality.

After all, overplaying video games may affect one's mind even for an adult.  In the case of President Nobita, he is a child in an adult's body.  Remembering the time I had an NES (no longer functioning) I could remember how often I argued, "But I'd die...." and my mom says, "You can reset it a lot of times..." and reminds me "...but in real life you cannot."  Maybe President Nobita is just treating his job like a video game rather than a real life scenario.

Really, get real President Nobita!