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Satirical News: Kris Aquino Says She Will Negotiate For Ceasefire With The Matae Terrorists In Marawi

As Kris Aquino still does not have any timeslot, she finally admitted on an interview on ABiaS-CBn with Leah Navarro as the reporter. Kris said, "I believe that not having a timeslot on TV or not appearing in a Hollywood movie will be because I have a greater calling. I believe what Manang Loida says that I am the only hope for democracy . EDSA would have not been successful if it wasn't for her. To prove my worth as your future president I will go to Marawi to show martial law is not necessary. I can prove we can all have peace talks with the Matae terrorists." Later, Kris had an interview with Maria Ressa of Crappler. She said, "The declaration of martial law in Mindanao is proof that the democracy my late mother fought for has died. Duterte himself is the new Marcos. The move to have a electoral recount is a death to democracy. If Bongbong Marcos becomes the new vice president then everything that the Liberal Party has fought for will be wasted. Everything from e...

Satirical News: Loida Nicolas Lewis Says President Duterte's Resignation Is The Only Way To Defeat Matae Terrorists In Marawi

Loida Nicolas Lewis makes headlines yet again as she calls for President Rodrigo R. Duterte to resign. She says she has the "perfect plan" to help the Philippines. Her latest proposal to end the conflict in Marawi with the Matae terrorist groups is to let President Rodrigo R. Duterte to resign and let Leni Loud Robredo become the new vice president. In an interview at CNN, Lewis said the following during an interview: The first step to getting peace to be done in Mindanao is to let Rodrigo R. Duterte resign so Vice President Leni Robredo can take his place.  I believe that there's no other way to defeat the Matae terrorists but by unseating Duterte from power.  The soon-would be President Robredo can uplift martial law and we must install Leila Dilemma as transitional vice president. This is all part of the golden age plan where Kris Aquino should become the future president of the Philippines . She will replace her late mother Cory Aquino as the new icon of democrac...

Gracie Dzienny Should Have Been CJ Parker?

I remembered getting excited for a Baywatch movie and boy was I disappointed for really stupid reasons. What I can't deny as a child was that  I watched both Baywatch and Mighty Morphin  aired on ABiaS-CBN. If it wasn't the Power Rangers movie where Kimberly was nowhere as hot as the original (and that's a dumb reason) then the same happened. I just felt like 2017 sort of killed my childhood in part. What's the stupid reason again? I could name it with the actress playing Cassie Jean Parker or CJ Parker for short. It's that the actress Kelly Rohrbach is nowhere near as hot as Pamela Anderson prior to all those stupid surgeries. Now I have my wishful casting. Call me crazy but I thought Gracie Dzienny shuld have been 2017's version of Cassie Jean Parker. She does kinda look like a young Pam in some way. So really, why wasn't she cast as CJ Parker?

Satirical News: #LoidaLeaks Reveal Plan To Launch Automatic Protest Machines

Yes! The revolution to overthrow President Rodrigo R. Duterte is under way thanks to the Automatic Protest Machines.  As the protests for Leila Dilemma and against the martial law in Marawi against the Matae terrorists dwindle, Smartmatic comes up with a new solution. For years, they have been anticipating events where you lack support. Now Smartmatic comes up with a new solution. Antonio Mugica Rivero of Smartmatic joined brains with Lewis to come up with the Automatic Protest Machine. This was revealed through #LoidaLeaks. It was revealed that a lack of support for the Liberal Party forced Smartmatic to create the Automatic Protest Machine. The robot itself is designed to protest for the Liberal Party. A new memory card was customized to protest in favor only for Liberal Party candidates and support the Liberal Party. The leaks were revealed that the Automatic Protest Machines are designed to help overthrow Philippine President Rodrigo R. Duterte. More plans were revealed...

Satirical News: Certain Liberal Party Members To Be Assigned To New Job Positions

In the quest to remain relevant, the Liberal Party has done one epal action after the other. The Commission on Appointments office is still considering on whether or not to confirm Antonio Trollanes IV as as the assistant secretary of the Department of Energy . Now three new proposals to be confirmed are the following namely Bum Aquino, Leni Loud Robredo, Marbobo Roxas and Kiko Pangilinan. President Rodrigo R. Duterte decided to write the following appointments which are waiting approval from the COA: Bum Aquino and Marbobo will be in charge of housing projects. The fact he can labor under the heat of the sun without a bead of sweat will inspire other workers to do better. Leni Loud Robredo will be appointed in taking care of maintenance of all public facilities. Kiko Pangilinan will be appointed as the new Department of Agriculture secretary.  Antonio Trillanes IV may become the new energy secretary. The proposal was now passed by Senator Alan Peter Cayetano. Stay t...

I'd Probably Keep An Open Mind And Watch Beauty And The Beast 2017?

I admit I wrote it that I have stupid reasons to skip two movies based on my childhood . But I thought about one of the two movies. I have no intention to watch the Power Rangers movie (and I'm not surprised with the drop). On the other hand, I could give Beauty and the Beast's remake a chance. I thought about how stupid the reason is if I'm not watching Beauty and the Beast all because Belle ain't so hot. But there are some interesting plot points (and minus points) which either way, Beast sort of reminds me of me. I have to admit that the inner Belle  is more important. Emma Watson is not that hot but she still gets the job done. The original version sort of made Beast a lustful creature. All he mentions is how pretty Belle is and how ugly he is. He probably decided to give her a better room because of her beauty. I thought that maybe Beast has a perverted side that couldn't be shown in the film.  The remake version has a deeper part in it. Beast...

I Love Laurel And Hardy's Old School Comedy

I remembered watching the Laurel and Hardy cartoon. I watched it at first like every other little child would watch the 1966 cartoon. I had no idea it was THAT old. I can remember watching the cartoon series and enjoying the comedy value. But there was something that was even older than the cartoon.  There was the Laurel and Hardy live-action comedy series. I saw both the colored and non-colorized versions though I prefer to watch it colorized. I had no idea that they were the same late actors in the 1934 film called "Babes in Toyland". I had no idea that both Laurel and Hardy were actually both the late Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy playing as themselves in a series of fictional scenarios. I had no idea that both were dead by the time the Hanna Barbera cartoon came out. I enjoyed both the cartoon while I thought the live version was funnier. It was a brilliant combination of live action and cartoon humor. Even if it's a live comedy but a lot of scenes there are m...